Thankful Thursday

Two pregnancy announcements this week almost seems like too to stomach.   Especially when we are going through the whirlwind of a cancelled IVF cycle.  We are also facing the facts that we can not attempt another IVF cycle because of money.  Therefore, not only are we dealing with this blow, but the extreme disapointment of figuring out how to accept that we only have a 1-2% percent chance of conceiving on our own if we don’t do IVF.  Basically, we are being forced to close this chapter in our lives and let go of this dream of another child to complete our family.  We are happy for others, but so incredibly sad for ourselves.  It can be easy to get angry and feel jealous and question why them and not us?

However, today, I am going to take a couple deep breaths and focus simply on my breathing.  Instead of focusing on the cards that we’ve been dealt being unfair and being bitter about what isn’t happening for us and being jealous about what is working in the lives of others I am going to try and put all my focus on the blessings God has given me.

The silver lining to all of this is that I have two beautiful daughters. We gave E a sibling.  Thankfully, IVF did work once for us before.   These two sisters have each other in their life journey and I am forever thankful for that.  They are both healthy and thriving and my heart knows the joy of being a mother.  I get to see my husband be a Dad (and a great one at that) and share this crazy journey of parenthood with my best friend and it makes me so happy.  Really, I couldn’t be more grateful for all of these blessings.  Thank you God, my heart may have a void but for the most part it is full.  Zach, Etta and Kynnslee are gifts and I cherish them all so deeply.

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Wondering on Wednesday

13 days.

13 days until my 7 year old enters the 2nd grade.

Not that I’m counting or anything, in case you are wondering.

Yesterday.

Yesterday is when it feels like summer just started.

How are we almost to the end of August already?

Summer went by in some crazy warp speed.  I literally blinked and here we are already gearing up for school to begin again.

I am finally understanding the phrase, “All our sweetest hours fly fastest.”

…because they do.

…because just yesterday I was holding my tiny little baby in my arms

and I blinked.

…and now she is soaring off into this BIG world a little more and more each day, on her own.

 

 

As her mama, I am equal parts happy and sad because this parenting stuff is very bittersweet.  It’s all the emotions bundled up in your heart.  I cherish this little girl so much, but I miss that little baby she once was.

I heard this song by Michael Buble called Forever Now and it gave me all the feels!  This morning I dedicate this song to my first baby who made me a mom!  I love you forever now Etta.

Aimless 20 Talk Tuesday

…coming from the mouths of my daughters this morning (Lord, help me get through the day today because I have a feeling I am going to be struggling with patience).

1. “Moooom, K poked me.”-E
2. “Meanie”-K
3. “No. No. No. No. No. AHHHHHH.”-K
4. “Sit on your own cushion and get your foot off my head.”-E
5. Me:  “E, go brush your teeth, clean your earrings and clean your expander so we can get on with our day.” E: “I just need to sit here longer because I need rest time.” (It’s 9:30 and she’s been sitting and not listening for almost an hour and a half now).
6. “I sit by you E, nah, nah nah (insert evil-taunting giggle)”-K
7. “Be nice to my baby (as E chucks it across the room)”-K
8. “I saiiiiidddddd, don’t lay on me.”-E
9. “I need my hair done before I brush my teeth Mom.”-E
10. “Mama, I sittin’ in…in…in here first.”-K
11. “You Did it E, no you really did do it.”-K (out of no where just trying to start something else).
12. “No you did it, I didn’t do anything.”-E
13. “I WANT MY HAIR DONE BEFORE I GET MY TEETH BRUSHED.” (in the biggest whine ever and also as a ploy to just not follow my directions and be in control).-E
14. “Don’t hit me in the head.”-K
15. “Mama, mmm…mmm…mmm (scream) E pushin’ me with her foot.”-K
16. “Mama, K won’t move and I was here first and she is annoying me.”-E
17. “No E noying me (sticking out tounge).”-K
18. “You brumpy or just a purple meanie?”-K
19. “Here you go E. (handing E her electronic diary)”-K
20. “Ahhh, thank you K, do you want to play?”-E

Motivational Monday for Mombies

What wealth do you bring to your daily life that makes you feel at your optimal health mind, body, and/or spirit?!

For me, being in nature is something that brings me wealth.  Even if only temporary, nature makes me feel better emotionally, it reduces stress, anxiety and muscle tension.  The calmness gives me clarity and a sense of peace.

This weekend we took our last family camping trip for the summer.  It had it’s moments that brought about chaos, but overall it was so nice to just get away, and get away in nature. My favorite moments were spent admiring the beauty in nature, going for bike rides and hiking.  It was so nice to steal away a couple quiet moments by myself and just read in my book, write in my journals, and read and reflect in my daily devotional in the mornings.

If you are in need of motivation or in need to bring wealth to your soul, body and/or mind for your health, today or any day, my best advice is to seek out this kind of gold or silver.

Here is a glimmer of the gold and silver in my weekend:

…sometimes, nature spent alone and/or with those you love most is truly the best medicine for your mind, body and soul!  Do more of what sparks you joy.  In the midst of a life struggle or circumstance that is bringing you grief, being able to step into nature forces you to reflect and find some inner peace.

I left the weekend realizing that there is so much truth to a quote that Anne Frank left us with:

Thankful Thursday

There

is

good

in

every

single

day.

…for this I am thankful.

Lately, I feel like I’ve been that person that is sitting in a field of roses and I only can see the thorns.

I don’t want to be this person.

Life is all about perception and how we view things.  My attitude is not only weighing me down, but it’s keeping me a prisoner in these cards that I’ve been dealt.  My attitude lately has also been robbing me of any joy in my day.

Sitting in the thorns feels so heavy.

I want to get to the point where I am sitting in the field of roses and I don’t notice all of the thorns.

So today, I will start by being grateful for the good in my day.  It doesn’t have to be anything big, it can be the simple everyday things that are good, bring a smile to my face and give me even a glimmer of joy.

Perception. Grattitude.  Joy.  These three things go hand in hand.

What is the good in your day today?!

Whatever it is, let the roses be your focus NOT the thorns.

 

 

 

 

Wondering On Wednesday

This morning I woke up with so much anxiety I felt like I was going to puke.  Today, I also have no set plans (besides taking care of my girls).  If you are wondering, I am not doing well with “quiet days”.  My anxiety is coming from knowing it’s a quiet day today.

Can anyone else who deals with anxiety relate to this?!

In the quiet days, I feel all the feels.  I don’t enjoy that.  Right now, I don’t have the strength to feel those feelings.  I’ve been trying to busy myself to fill those moments of quiet so I am distracted.  I find myself welcoming any and all distractions.  I know at some point I am going to have to feel my feelings.  If I don’t, I know that I will never begin the healing process.  Sooner or later, I will have to face this head on.  I’m just not ready yet.  How does one begin to muster up the strength?

Aimless 20 Talk Tuesday

My to do list (in no particular order)….

1.  Finish painting last dresser in our Master Bedroom.
2. Pick up items at Costco before Camping Friday.
3. Pick up yard waste sticker.
4. Dump said yard waste bags and containers that are currently stinking up our garage.
5. Hair trims for the girls and myself.
6. Continue posting on VS.
7. WM grocery pick up (on Thursday)
8. School clothes/shoe shop for Etta (Kynnslee needs tennis shoes).
9. Finish packing for Camping (by Thurs).
10. Pay bills (WE Energies, BMO Harris & Sanitary)- Wednesday.
11. Book Hotel/Buy Wedding gift.
12. Two week meal plan.
13. De-clutter, deep clean house.
14. Write in girls journals.
15. Sign E up for Kidstage (pay fee).
16. Swim lessons (both girls).
17. Class for K at Y.
18. Give Haddie a Bath.
19. Go through girls closets and take out things that don’t fit.
20. Return Library books/Dvd’s

What I really wish my to-do list looked like: