Aimless 20 Talk Tuesday

  1. It’s a grey day outside and suddenly got very chilly. Feels more like Fall outside today.
  2. Here is your daily reminder to stop what you are doing and drink a tall glass of water.
  3. I have my yearly physical on Thursday. Going to this place and having to do my yearly physical is always a huge trigger for me, for obvious reasons.
  4. I brought Osama’s ashes home yesterday (insert all the emotions). I laid her box on my bed, in her favorite spot, all day yesterday. It just felt like the right thing to do. I’m just waiting for some pictures to get developed and then then I will make a special space just for her. I’m more at peace that she is home now but still grieving such a significant loss. My heart feels broken into a thousand and one pieces.
  5. We are still tentatively supposed to start moving next week. It still doesn’t seem like that will be reality but I’m zipping my lips as to not piss my husband off.
  6. We got a call yesterday from the school nurse informing us that Kynnslee had a close contact to someone Covid positive at the end of last week and we are to watch for any symptoms that may come up in the next 9 days. This is so nerve wracking. Thankfully, they had already enforced wearing masks at school last week so hopefully this helped keep her safe. It sounded like all the 4K students were cooperating and wearing their masks, including the one that was positive in her class.
  7. Monday I have to go get a filling at the dentist. UGHHH. I feel like I’m always at the dentist.
  8. I should really be packing more stuff up instead of blogging right now. Procrastination at its best.
  9. How ’bout them Packers last night, hah!
  10. Not gonna lie, I watched DWTS with Etta last night and didn’t watch the Packers play. Anyone else? What did you think of the Season Premier?
  11. I can not stop reading about the Gabby Petito case. All the details coming out are just chilling. It will be interesting what comes out of it if they find Brian. It’s all just insane to me. It’s also disturbing that Gabby was safe in the back of a police car, only to be let go and found dead days later. So many should have, could have, would have’s being said right now. More needs to be done and it is maddening. So maddening.
  12. Our chrysalis hatched and the result was two beautiful monarch butterflies that we got to release and let fly away. Nature is amazing!
  13. Picture day is tomorrow for my girls. It will be super interesting to see if the photographer can crack Miss K. Anyone want to bet if she smiles or if I have to take another picture of her myself this year?
  14. We pulled all the dead plants from my garden boxes on Sunday so the new owners don’t have to deal with the mess. I’m going to miss those boxes next Summer. I likely won’t have any type of garden by then yet. Add it to the long list of *someday*.
  15. I need to get back on the workout train. I haven’t even been hitting my daily steps. Something is seriously wrong with me. I hate when I get in this funk mode and can’t bring myself to workout because I know that it helps me.
  16. The girls and I donated all of Osama’s things to the Pawfee shop. It made my heart both happy and sad. Her cosequin tabs will be used by Stevie B, a cat that has been at the Pawfee shop for a while. Stevie-B rarely lets me pet him and if you try he swats at your hand. It made my heart happy and it was like he knew and it was his way of saying I’m sorry for your loss and thank you for the meds-you can scratch my chin for as long as you want and I will purr for you today. It was really sweet. There also happened to be 13 day old kittens there that we could look at in the viewing room. They were incredibly sweet. I know it was hard for both girls to go there too and I know both of them would like a new kitten.
  17. It’s crazy to think that next year Kynnslee will be in full time kindergarten. I feel guilty saying this but I really have been enjoying the 3 hours to myself M-Th. The time just goes by so incredibly fast though. I know a full day M-F will be way too much free time and I really need to figure out what I’m going to do with my time. I still have to finalize all my subbing stuff so that can be an option for me. Some ladies in my shoes have given me the advice to take some time off and not rush into working. This would be hard for me and yet, I do think there would be some benefit to it as well.
  18. I only slept 6 hours last night. I did a lot of tossing and turning. I dislike those nights.
  19. I need to find some red sparkle shoes to finish off Etta’s Halloween costume (Size 2). I haven’t found anything yet.
  20. Well…I better do something more productive this morning since I only have an hour and fifty minutes before I have to pick up Kynnslee. I told you this time just goes by too fast!

Motivational Monday for Mombies

In my ZYIA VIP Facebook group, I am doing a Self Care September and posting general ideas of things you can try daily for self care. Today is day 20 so I thought I’d share the ideas I’ve shared in my group up to this point. As you well know, self care is different for everyone. It may not even look the same for you each day. The important thing is, is that you are doing something each day that fills your cup instead of depleting your cup.

  1. Start your day with a positive affirmation.
  2. Watch a funny video.
  3. Listen to your favorite song.
  4. Spend time in nature.
  5. Make your favorite meal.
  6. Spend time with someone you love.
  7. Do something kind for someone.
  8. Turn your electronics off an hour before bed.
  9. Move your body (exercise, dance, stretch).
  10. Focus on your breathing for 10 minutes or so.
  11. Have a mindful breakfast (focus on being in the moment and using all 5 senses)
  12. Try something new.
  13. Have a healthy meal.
  14. Call someone you care about.
  15. Reflect on 3 things you are grateful for.
  16. Go to bed early.
  17. Take a hot bath or an extra long shower.
  18. Visit your favorite place.
  19. Give yourself a manicure or pedicure.
  20. Try smiling, even when you don’t feel like it (or smile at yourself in the mirror at first glance).

Of course these 20 self-care ideas are simply suggestions. If you’ve been feeling like you are needing some self care, I simply challenge you to pick one thing of this list and give it a try. Take note of how you feel by taking a moment in doing something for yourself. Perhaps nothing on this list is appealing, well maybe you simply need to just be today and find a moment where you do absolutely nothing. Doing absolutely nothing can be hard for many but once you try it, you realize it is okay to just be and you don’t have to be doing something every minute of every day.

I hope you Mombies have a wonderful Monday and week ahead!

Simple Saturday

Grief, depression and stress combined are taking their toll on me. I feel like I’m being pulled in every direction and all I want to do is curl up in a ball, ignore my responsibilities and have a good cry. I am trying to take one day at a time and it just seems each day keeps throwing something new at me that I don’t feel capable of handling in any given moment.

I am trying to give myself grace and keep telling myself I am doing the best I can in my present moments. It’s just hard because sometimes it just doesn’t feel like it’s enough. If you are feeling like I am today just keep reminding yourself that you are enough, despite that other whisper in your head.

One minute at a time. You got this.

Free Friday

Women who support, uplift and genuinely want to include other women no matter what, without judgement are my kind of women. Women who want you to fit in their boat or box, say one thing but do another, and judge you or gossip behind your back are not for me. I’m learning very quickly, even as a 38 year old adult, that not everyone is my friend.

Lessons Learned in LifeEverybody isn't your friend. - Lessons Learned in  Life

Thankful Thursday

Sometimes it is the little things. Okay…a lot of the time it is the little things. Unfortunately, most of the time we take for granted the smaller things in life that we really should be taking time to be grateful for.

Today, I am thankful that one of Kynnslee’s classmates is coming home with us after school and staying to play with her until late afternoon. As much as Kynnslee loves that I am home with her and vise versa, it breaks my heart every day when she tells me, “Mama, I wish I had a best friend to play with right now.”

Kynnslee was so excited to wake up today, simply knowing her friend is going to be coming over today. If we could all just take a moment and see that there is so much good in our day and oftentimes all those little things are so much better then the bad things that happen.

Have a wonderful Thursday you guys. I’d love for you to tell me what little things you are thankful for today. Please take a moment and comment below!

Aimless 20 Talk Tuesday

  1. Drop offs are not going any smoother for little Miss Kynnslee. I hate that she starts her day in tears, fearful and getting pried out of our car by the aides and teachers. It surely tugs at my Mama heartstrings. However, upon pick up she always has a big smile and is excited to tell me about her day and show me what is in her backpack. I know that this is what is best for her, I just wish we could figure out what makes drop offs so difficult for her.
  2. Here is your daily reminder to drink a tall glass of water.
  3. Building a house is stressful and I never want to do it again. I should learn to never say never though, hah.
  4. We went to church on Sunday and Etta went to Sunday school. We tried having Kynnslee go to Sunday school, but surprise, surprise she didn’t want to go. It felt really nice to be back at church again. It was just what my soul needed.
  5. One of my good friends gave the girls a blank pet memory scrapbook, a pet photo frame, bracelets with pawprints and a couple key chains with very nice sayings on them and wrote us a very nice card in sympathy of losing Osama. It really touched my heart to be thought of.
  6. I miss Osama’s soft belly, cute white paws, her grandma meow and her hugging my head and purring in my ear at night. Nights are probably the absolute worse for me.
  7. When you are up half the night and can’t shut your brain off you know you are dealing with not only grief but the stress of everything else. When is life going to start to shift and feel semi-normal again?!
  8. It is truly starting to look more like Fall outside. Typically I welcome Fall, but I feel kind of sad about it this year only because Summer felt like it went by so incredibly fast. I just don’t feel prepared.
  9. Every year around this time makes me want to take up bow hunting again.
  10. I bought a 3lbs bag of dried apricots at Costco to see if it helped me soften up my stools a bit (sorry TMI). Well, the bag is labeled as “SunSational Fruits” and it actually should be labeled “Fartsational Fruits” you guys, I can’t stop and the air around me is rank. Hahah. I truly feel badly for my family at this point and I probably have about 2lbs left to eat. I can’t stop laughing about all this now but my family is not happy with me.
  11. I’m pretty sure my puppers has another yeast or ear infection. She’s scratching at her ears and whimpering as she does it. She’s also been licking her paws a lot again and has that old familiar stink to her. Poor Haddie Patty.
  12. I am still looking for Fall hostesses for my ZYIA side gig. I’m bummed out that nobody is hosting yet in September. Hopefully someone will soon! I love hosting parties and helping my hostesses earn credit and 50% off items.
  13. We have 2 Chrysalis’s waiting to become Monarchs. The jar inside looks absolutely disgusting so I am truly anticipating these guys morphing into butterflies so we can set them free but also so I can get this nasty bug jar off my kitchen counter.
  14. I have no idea what to get Kynnslee for her 5th birthday. I know I have time yet, but it has been on my mind. I feel the pressure to make it special too because she has been talking about her birthday all year. She absolutely loves birthdays.
  15. Ugh…I need to start preparing for the colder months too because Etta is going to need all new outdoor clothes and boots and Kynnslee will at least need boots, probably snow pants too. I think I have a coat that will work for her this winter though.
  16. It sounds like Etta was having some trouble with friends yesterday and it breaks my heart. She has two really close girlfriends in her class. However, apparently the two of her friends don’t get along so when Etta is playing with the one girl the other girl doesn’t play with Etta and when Etta chooses to play with her other friend her other friend tells Etta she doesn’t want to be her friend anymore and doesn’t talk to her. Etta has such a good heart and is kind and is such a peacemaker and just wants to be friends and get along with everyone. I see the bind this puts her heart in and in 4th grade it it so hard. I hope her day is better today because she really just needs friends right now as she is also having a hard time with the loss of Osama.
  17. I did a grocery pick up right after I dropped the girls off at school today. Kynnslee was throwing a fit because we ran out of Strawberry Oatmeal. Hopefully she appreciates being served Strawberry Oatmeal again tomorrow at breakfast.
  18. They canceled Octoberfest and the big car show, License to Cruise that was planned for in October. 2nd year in a row. It’s probably for the best, but sad for our community.
  19. Lunches are free again this year at school because our school received a grant. AWESOME. What isn’t AWESOME is that my daughter requests a cold lunch 4/5 school days.
  20. You know that feeling when you have so much to do, you don’t even know where to begin so you find yourself distracting yourself doing things that are pointless….yeah, that’s currently me right now. Anyone want to come help us pack up a house and move because we really need help and both my husband and I are terrible at asking for help when we need it most.

Motivational Monday for Mombies

After the loss of a pet, figuring out you and your families new normal can be difficult. Losing a pet is significant. Truly, there is no timeline as to when you will feel better and you have every right to take as much time as you need to grieve your loss. Just like with the death of a person you love, you may feel waves of grief that come and go at different times in your day. Our pets are not just mere animals, they are our family and best companions. Our pets become intertwined in every part of our lives, even our daily routines. When they are no longer with us, our house becomes more quiet. Our hearts feel more empty. Our arms and hands long to hold and pet that special fur pal again. The feeling of losing a pet is quite painful.

Our sweet and very beloved Osama girl passed away last Friday. She lived a long and beautiful life with us and we miss her very much already. I don’t think we will ever stop missing her. As the days pass, it has been difficult finding our new normal without her. There hasn’t been a day that has went by that we haven’t spoke of her. In all honesty, I am finding it hard to be at home and find the motivation to do anything without moping around. What’s worse is in moments of sadness, she is the one that would bring me comfort.

Here is what I am learning so far and wanted to share with you, in case you too are experiencing the loss of a pet or currently grieving the loss of your pet:

  1. Think of how you want to remember your pet, and then create a memorial somehow. We got my cat cremated and although we haven’t received her ashes back yet, my daughter has expressed that she wants to have a funeral for her. I think this would be a great idea! We have a special picture frame with our favorite picture and a couple other items along with our cat’s favorite toy that we will display in our new house.
  2. If you are feeling exceptionally sad over your pets death and feel like the blues are getting to be overwhelming, perhaps consider talking to a professional who could help you cope and talk through the grief you are dealing with. The loss of a pet can feel incredibly heavy and there is no shame in needing a little extra help to help you get through such an difficult time in your life.
  3. It may not seem possible right now, but it is okay to move on. Your pet would not want you to be sad forever. He/she would want to remember the good times and also the times they brought you joy. Perhaps in the near future you could find a new pet who could provide you with a new companion and friendship. There are so many animals out there who need loving people and good homes. The right one is out there just waiting for you to love on him/her.
  4. Make a photo book to help keep your pets memory alive. This way, whenever you feel that wave of grief hitting you, you have a lasting memory to hold near and dear to your heart to look at. My daughter also expressed she would like to make a Shutterfly book of our cat and again, I think that is a wonderful idea. It is something our entire family would treasure.
  5. Lean on your friends and family. Your family and friends likely also know what it is like to lose a pet. They would hate to see you go through such an ordeal alone. True family and friends will let you talk about your pet as much as you need to. Talking about your grief is also another way to help you cope and also to help you to let go.
  6. Sometimes caring for other pets or visiting an animal shelter is also good therapy for your hurting heart. Although this can bring up memories of your pet, which can make you sad, knowing you can give another animal a little bit of your time and love and attention is also good for your soul.
  7. Whatever you are feeling is valid. Give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling and also do what you need to do each day to grieve. There is never a right or a wrong way to grieve the loss of a pet.
  8. Give yourself time to feel better, let go and move on. There is also no time period that says start and end as to when you will feel better. My cat was with me for 20 years. That is a long time. I’m going to be sad about this and it is going to be hard. I’m not going to feel better or completely happy tomorrow, however I know one day this will feel a bit easier. Healing takes time and that is normal and perfectly okay.