Aimless 20 Talk Tuesday

  1. Here is your daily reminder to stop what you are doing and drink a tall glass of water!
  2. I’m super excited because we are going to our first story time this morning at the library in over a year. Although it is not the normal story time we are going to and it is at a different library, I am thrilled to get my kiddos back at the library for weekly story times! My oldest daughter’s school staff are hosting story times so she will be able to engage with teachers from her school and see lots of familiar faces. Hoping that K will be able to engage too and have some fun too!
  3. Crazy to think that in 2018 Haddie had partial removal of her ear to remove her 2nd mast cell tumor that tested positive for cancer. I am so thankful that she recovered quickly and it overall went smoothly. She currently has a tumor that we’ve been watching on her right hind leg for over a year now. The last time we were at the vet they told us that we could continue monitoring it. However, if it gets any bigger they will recommend testing it and if it comes back positive again they will also recommend we remove it. With her history, the likelihood that it is positive is high. We’ve decided for now that we will wait to test and possibly revisit it this Fall. If she needs a removal we’d rather do it in the Fall/Winter months when we are not so busy. Obviously if anything drastic changes with it we’d take care of it sooner rather then later. She’s such a sweet puppers, it makes me sad that the has to deal with these. I’m just grateful she’s lived to see 7 years. Hopefully, she lives to see at least another 7! Ok…I need to stop, makes me sad thinking about this stuff.
  4. My goal is to run a couple miles tonight and then do a quick head to toe workout this afternoon. I need to stay in the zone of being physically active at least 3 times a week. I know that I easily fall out of this when I don’t have a goal to work towards or a workout schedule to stay. This only means that I need to decide on my next workout goal and make that new training schedule quickly! I am still debating if I want to do the 13.1 training since I’m all trained up to run the 10K already. It’s like I’m halfway there…. However, my calfs feel like they need a break from the stress of strictly running and my bat wings are telling me it’s time to focus on arms, haha!
  5. Kynnslee had her 2nd Tee Ball game last night. She frets about having to play all day when I tell her she has a softball game, but does well once she’s there. I am actually quite surprised at how she actually participates and does so with a smile on her face. Typically she doesn’t participate and just usually observes. When I asked her if she had fun, she told me she had lots of fun too! I hope this helps her not only socialize and feel part of a team but also help to build some of her confidence!
  6. I’ve been trying to find what I call my “career binder” for months and months. I was looking for it before I even knew we were building and moving. It’s driving me nuts that I can not find it. It has all my important trainings, certifications, past resume’s, etc. in it. I would like to start focusing on working on an updated resume and sometime next year become CPR certified again. These are just a couple goals I have in mind for myself. Obviously, then I’d like toward working on figuring out what I want to do when Kynns goes to Kindergarten. I’ve been thinking about getting my substitute teaching license as to fall back on too. I need to find this binder though so it can help me focus more on getting on track with my mindset. I’ve never lost something and it hasn’t shown up. Guess there is a first for everything. I’ve been building this binder up since college though and it has been such a great tool for me in the past when working on goals and working at getting a job. I know I am not getting a job now or tomorrow but I have some time now to start working on the baby steps to get me to where I need to be right now.
  7. I’m happy that I get to play co-ed soccer on Thursday and nothing conflicts with it on my schedule. YAY!
  8. We had to reorder our toilet paper holders, towel holders, towel bar, and bathroom hooks for the new house. We ended up finding them all on AMAZON (surprise, surprise) and they were all delivered yesterday. The ones we originally ordered ended up having a 120 day hold because Kohler has some sort of manufacturing delay. Honestly, I’m glad this happened because we saved some money going this other route. It surely pays to shop around.
  9. Speaking of new house, The upstairs is now framed out. There is a delay in the delivery of our trusses though. Those will not be delivered now until the end of June supposedly. I say supposedly because I have the mentality with this house building schedule that I will believe it when I see it! New move in date is now September-ISH (insert eye roll and palm to forehead). However frustrating it is, I am trying to have grace and be understanding because I know most of the delays are out of our builder and his crew’s hand. It’s just the world we are living in right now.
  10. I saw a shirt yesterday that popped up that said, “You smell like drama and a bad headache, please go away”. It still makes me laugh!
  11. Getting really nervous. My sister and I are on the books to have our tats done on Saturday…eek, I’ll keep you all posted! I don’t remember being so nervous the first time around. In fact, I’m so nervous when I think about it I feel like I am going to puke. Not quite sure why my nerves are getting to me this time around but they are!
  12. We have this one bill that will send you and email notification when the bill is due. In the email it gives the link to pay now. However, whenever you click the link or even just go to the direct site to pay your bill amount says $0.00. For whatever reason, your account doesn’t say the amount you owe until like 1.5 weeks after you receive the notification that your bill is due. I find this to be super annoying. I am not sure if it’s a glitch in their system. I’m not sure if they are aware of this issue, or not. Would you try to contact someone about it? I always pay on time and it eventually posts but it’s like the email notification should match up with what your account actually says and it doesn’t. I know it’s a small issue, but it’s an annoyance to me. Is it just me, or would this annoy you?
  13. Kittens. Kittens everywhere. My girls would love to experience what it’s like to have a kitten. The timing just isn’t right. However, I really don’t think Osama would do as bad as we think she would. She has truly surprised us with how she handled our puppies!
  14. Kynnslee had her first birthday party invite on Sunday. I think she had lots of fun but as suspected she was a bit shy to actually play with her friend that invited her and the she cried when we got home and said she was said she didn’t even get to play with him. HAH!
  15. I’ve been better at drinking water lately. Carrying a 32oz bottle with me wherever I go is helping!
  16. The humidity has left and 80 degree temps feels a lot cooler this week. I like it because I can have the windows open!
  17. Strawberry season is here and I’d love to go pick somewhere so I can make some strawberry jam. We are out of home made and nothing beats it!
  18. I’m still trying to decide if I am going to attempt to transplant some of my plants so I can have them at the new house or just figure out their names so I can buy new and start over!
  19. I have a huge watermelon on the counter that I need to cut. I procrastinate cutting them every single time I buy them. I absolutely hate the task of cutting a watermelon…anyone else?
  20. Well, it’s library time! Have a great Tuesday ahead!

Mombie Mondays

I found myself extremely tired this morning. The minute I realized it was morning, I already found myself torn between catching a half an hour of extra sleep or getting up early to have a few minutes to myself (and maybe, just maybe get a few things done without interruption) before the kiddos woke up for the day. As much as I would have loved to sleep in, the few extra minutes to myself typically always wins when I am feeling torn between the two. It’s any wonder I am so tired all the time.

As a mombie, it’s hard to catch lulls of time in our day where we get to be completely and utterly alone. I’m talking about the kind of alone where your ears are ringing because it is so silent around you. To be honest, when these rare moments do creep in, I find myself lost. It almost feels like I am incapable of time management when I get time alone. I almost always feel like a dog chasing my tail because the next decision I need to make is how I am going to spend that free time. Even when I spend that free time trying to be productive, I am constantly side tracked and when my alone time is up, I am disappointed because nothing was accomplished.

The list of ways I could spend free time when given it, is endless. When given moments of space to myself, it goes by all too fast. After I am given this time alone, I often find myself wishing I could have more time alone. I then find myself feeling guilty how I chose to spend the time I was given in those moments because it is so rare these days. Then, I spend a good amount of time with mom guilt because of the thoughts that I even want this time alone to begin with. I feel this way mostly because there are so many women in my shoes wishing to be a mom, and are struggling with infertility or loss and I should WANT to be spending all my time with my children. I did pray for them after all. Then I battle with if I spent my free time wisely when I should or could have just been spending it with my kids.

As a mombie, the ways you could spend these rare moments to yourself are endless. You could choose to be still. You could choose to be productive. You could choose to watch a movie. You could choose to call a friend. You could choose to work out. You could choose to journal. You could choose to pamper yourself. You could choose to work on a goal or dream. You could choose to go shopping. You could choose to garden. You could choose to go for a walk with your dog. Truly, the options are endless. As a mom, it seems that we are always torn. We are torn on how to spend our time, torn on what to make for dinner, torn on if we are making good decisions for our family, Torn on if we are being a good mom, torn on how we are spending our time.

I think as mombies being core conflict is a common feeling to have. We are being pulled in so many different directions 24/7. Some days are easier to navigate then others. When we are feeling overwhelmed and like life is on overhaul, making decisions, even the smallest of decisions (like what’s for dinner?) can feel difficult and stressful. When we choose to spend time alone versus with our kids, we tend to feel mom guilt. This can oftentimes yank at both ends of our hearts and can be where a lot of your anxiety is stemming from. Sometimes I feel like I need to be supermom and do it all. I have unrealistic expectations of myself and sometimes I feel like my kiddos have unrealistic expectations of me. I can’t possibly respond to every whim and need that they have. As a mom, we also need to set boundaries and know it’s okay to say “no” to our kids.

If you woke up feeling torn today mombie, know you are not alone. You may be told that you are the glue that holds your family together. That can feel like a huge responsibility and huge role to play. Sometimes you wake up feeling like super glue and other days you are more like Elmer’s glue. You never have to be both and yet, somedays you are. Showing up is what is most important. I like to think of you’ve never felt the feeling of conflict within, you’ve never truly loved with all your heart. You feel torn because you love.

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Simple Saturday

You guys! I did it! The past 14 weeks have helped to build me up to this moment…I finally ran and finished my first 10K today! I still am not in love with running but it’s almost like my body and mind crave it. At times it feels like therapy. I had to share my accomplishment with this community of people who have supported me in other avenues of life. It may be a small feat for someone reading this, but it was an exciting thing to accomplish for me. I’m not sure what my next goals, fitness wise, will be. Perhaps I’ll try the 13.1 or maybe I’ll take a break from running goals. I’m not sure yet. I do know that my body is craving getting back into weights and cardio mix so I may pursue some small goals with that. Whatever I do next, I know that this has build my confidence to not only succeed at fitness goals, but it has taught me that I should not let fear of trying new things or fear of failure control my mindset to NOT do something. As the old saying goes, it is better to try and fail, then not try at all and have regrets you wished you tried at all.

May be an image of footwear and text that says 'You've graduated! You are now ready for the Half Half Marathon Trainer (click here)! In the meantime, practice and run the full 10K anytime you want.'
May be an image of one or more people and text that says '"Self confidence is a super power. Once you start to believe in yourself, magic starts happening. -Unknown'

Also, I ran this morning in my ZYIA Navy Copper Charged Tank and Navy Bomber Bra. Both of these are amazing pieces for working out in. I can’t say enough positive things about this tank top. It is sweat wicking, it keeps me cool and more dry then most work out tops I own and because it is copper infused it also is odor blocking. It is pretty TTS but I could size down for a little more fitted look, however, I prefer the size Small. If you are interested in shopping my link please click here or if you are interested in following my Facebook Group send me a comment and I will hook you up!

Have a great Saturday you guys!

Free Friday

My daughter randomly came and sat by me and gave me the biggest side hug. She looked up at me and says, “Mama, I am just so happy to be apart of our family. I just love you all so much.”

Insert waterworks here.

It’s these private and very sweet moments with my girls that I cherish the most as a Mama. You can’t put a price tag on them. These moments are special gifts just for me from them and when they happen I soak them all in.

Nothing about parenting is easy. Nor are our days perfect. I struggle a lot of days. I am hard on myself. My girls are not always the best behaved at times and I tend to lose my patience and am quick to anger. However, it is truly these special moments in my days with my children, where you look at your child and think to yourself, “Thank you God, what a beautiful Angel sent to me, from you.” He knew exactly what my heart needed and both my girls were worth the wait and then some.

It is hard to believe all we went through to have Kynnslee. Some days it feels like a distant memory. I’m not sure if she will ever understand the depth of love I feel for her. Her sweet sentiments this morning mean so much to me. It surely had a true impact on my heart and make me realize how lucky I am to be called Mama. God certainly, didn’t make it easy for us to expand our family but He knew exactly what he was doing when He made Kynnslee our daughter. I’m just so grateful. Every day, I am just so grateful.

Thankful Thursday

May be an image of text that says 'Someday I'll look back and say, BLINKED AND THEY WERE GROWN." So, I hope to also say "BUT SAWIT ALL. SOAKED IT IN. IWAS THERE FOR IT. AND IT WAS GREAT." ~you are loved emily roussell~'

I constantly wake up day to day and look at my girls with that feeling “I blinked”. Yesterday I was pregnant with so much anticipation to meet these babies. Today I have an almost 9 year old and a 4.5 year old. Where have the seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months and years gone?! There has been so much truth in the saying that the days have been long and the years are short. None of which, do I want to take for granted.

Being a stay at home mom has had its challenges. It has come with many sacrifices as well, one of which was my dreams to also have a career. I just knew I was never the person who could do both. I wanted to be able to focus on being a mom and raising my girls. Although it hasn’t been easy, I can say that it has truly been one of the best decisions I made and I do not have any regrets, even after almost 9 years being home. I can say this because it really does go by fast and I know that when my girls are grown I will miss this. I will look back and realize these are the best moments in time and gosh darn it am I lucky that I’ve been here for it…for all of it.

I’m waking up with a truly grateful heart this morning. It’s bittersweet that my babies are not babies anymore, but I sure am embracing every single milestone and moment in their lives. When I look at their little faces, my heart just bursts with so much love and appreciation for this beautiful life I’ve been blessed to call mine.

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Wondering On Wednesday

In case you’ve been wondering about our new house progress, I thought today would be a great day to share some updated pictures.

**also side note**

I drafted this post up yesterday and I forgot to post it. So, I am posting it today (Thursday). My mind and routine are all out of sorts since Summer break is upon me. Life has gotten busy and to put it simply, I just feel scatter brained. However, this goes to show that I’m not perfect and will never try to be or live up to perfection. This is the real, honest, not talked about part of motherhood. It’s a crazy beautiful mess…sometimes things get shifted or out of order BUT eventually they get done and most days I am lucky if I remember to do what I am supposed to at all. I’m to the stage where I have a million post it notes in my work space and have to write every single thing down if I need to remember something!

Aimless 20 Talk Tuesay

  1. Here is your daily reminder to stop what you are doing and drink a tall glass of water!
  2. Kynnslee had her very first Pee-Wee Tee-Ball game last night. She cried about going and was worrying all afternoon about playing but when we got there her mood quickly turned into excitement. She got out there and did it with a smile. I couldn’t have been more proud of her. This age is just adorable to watch out on the field too. Doing my best to soak it all in!
  3. I spied an almost ripe strawberry in my patch last night. I also noticed that my cucumbers are popping up already. I’m so glad we decided to plant some things in our boxes one last summer before we move.
  4. Etta has softball practice at 6pm tonight. I’m hoping that my hubby is able to take her and then he can take Kynnslee with as well to play on the playground so I can get my last training run in tonight.
  5. I mentioned this previously but I thought I would mention it again. I became a ZYIA activewear Rep! If you are reading this, please do me a favor and join my online Facebook group. I don’t expect you to buy from me BUT you’ve all be an amazing support to me here, I’d truly love the continued support in my ZYIA group as well. ZYIA is for everybody and all are invited to join in. I want my page to be a place to uplift, support and encourage you! I hope you fall in love with ZYIA as much as I am! >>>>
  6. Yesterday, the girls and I had a nice visit with my sister at the park. We grabbed coffee to go so we could chat while the girls played. It was so warm out though that our ice didn’t last long in our iced coffees. Hopefully more days allow us to visit. I cherish days like yesterday!
  7. We are all work in progress. I realized yet again yesterday that I have some work to do on myself. I also read this quote this morning that resonated with me that ties into how I am feeling and why. It said, “Don’t lower your standards, but do remember that removing your expectations of others is the best way to avoid being disappointed by them.”-MarcandAngel
  8. The library that I normally take the girls to for summer activities and story time still has no plan of reopening for activities. This is a bummer to me because it’s always been a huge part of our summer and something the girls have always looked forward to. I am thrilled to the moon that starting next week, Tuesday that one of the smaller libraries near us is opening up for an hour long story time/play hour with the school district teachers and kiddos. It won’t be the same, but at least it will be something to look forward to each week.
  9. Welp! Both girls are officially up for the day. Whatever happened to kids wanting to sleep in on summer break? Mine certainly are very early risers. I’ve been getting up at 5am and I still don’t feel like that is enough down time alone in my morning before my girls wake up!
  10. My hubby fixed the screens in our egress windows downstairs that the moles chewed and he gave our front door pillar a fresh coat of paint. Slowly but surely little projects are getting done. It feels good.
  11. I haven’t done any progress pictures of our new house for a hot minute but hopefully some will come tomorrow or later in the week. Stay tuned!
  12. Kynnslee was invited to her first friend birthday party on Sunday. Hopefully it cools down jut a tad because they are having an outdoor jumpy house. I remember when Etta used to have those for her birthday and the kiddos were just so sweaty hot. One year I think Etta even got heat sick.
  13. I just saw someone post about their bunion surgery. I can’t believe it’s a 6 week or more recovery. I have bunions started on both my feet. my left is much more noticeable then my right and gives me a little grief every now and then. I betcha this surgery will be in my future one day. I hear it’s worth having done if they are causing you pain though but the recovery isn’t easy.
  14. My soccer game this Thursday conflicts with Etta’s softball game so I won’t be playing. It’s a no brainer though because I don’t want to miss these moments to show up and be there for my daughter. I’m just glad to be playing summer soccer at all considering it’s been over a year since I’ve gotten to play.
  15. It’s that time of year where Zach and I fight over who gets to mow the lawn…haha! It surely could use a mow again already. I did it the last time, but he did it the last 3 times before that.
  16. One thing I’m already missing since school has ended is the pick up line. I never thought I’d say that BUT I miss it because that is where I would get my daily reading time in for the day. Since school has been out I’ve been lucky if I read for 15 or 20 minutes. I’ve got some new books in my pile and another Colleen Hoover book from a friend that I want to dive into. There just hasn’t been time!
  17. I have a grocery pick up scheduled for Friday. I finally worked on a meal plan this past Sunday for next week. It’s always such a chore and groceries are just so expensive.
  18. What space in your house ends up being a catch all? We have a drop counter in our kitchen and lately our kitchen table are two spots where clutter ends up. I feel like I’m the only one who notices and cares to clear these areas off. It’s super annoying. I took out the drop counter in our next house but as you well know drop counter or not there will always be an area of your house that ends up being a catch all. It seems like you can’t avoid it.
  19. My face is breaking out like I’m a teenager, but it’s also that time of the month. My cycle came 4 days early this month…annoying. I feel like it serves me no purpose anymore and just feels like an inconvenience. Of course the day my period showed up the first thing I saw on Facebook was a pregnancy announcement. Even after all this time it still stings and feels like a big slap in my face.
  20. Kynnslee just came up to me and randomly said, “A diapers are also called a Nappies and potty is also called wee-wee”. Haha, umm ok!

Mombie Monday

Yesterday afternoon, Kynnslee had pictures for her Pee Wee Tee-ball. These pictures were both team and individual photos. From the moment I told her she had pictures yesterday, her inner grumpy cat came out. For those of you who are not familiar with grumpy cat, let me give you a visual:

Grumpy Cat No - Meme on Imgur

She had to wear her red team t-shirt, black shorts, socks, cleats and her Greenville Griffins Headband. Pretty straight forward right?! Wrong! Since she was already switched to Grumpy Cat mode she decided that there was something wrong with everything. Her shirt was too big. Her shorts were too long. Her socks were too lumpy. Her cleats were too tight. Her headband was too itchy. She immediately threw herself to the floor bawling and thrashing her body all about in complete meltdown mode.

I did what any Mombie would do in my shoes. I bribed her! I told her that if she cooperated and we left when mama said it was time to go and she wore everything that she was supposed to for pictures that we could go to The Twist for ice cream after her pictures. She wasn’t completely sold on this idea, but the word ice cream is the golden word in this household. She eventually obliged and got in the car.

Unfortunately, when we arrived we had a bit of a wait before it was her time to get pictures taken. The photographer was 1 full team behind schedule and it was really hot outside yesterday which didn’t help my little grumpy cat’s mood one bit. However, I have to say under the circumstances she did better then expected.

When it was finally time to get her pictures taken she was even more NOT in the mood. Between not wanting to get pictures taken to begin with and then having to wait she was in full blown grumpy cat pants mood. Kynnslee has stubborn blood that runs thick anyways but when she’s cranky on top of it there is no getting her to do anything. She is also a bit shy and I think feels somewhat overwhelmed by being part of a team. She is also still very young and everything can seem a bit more intimidating at age 4!

During team pictures, Kynnslee was wedged between two boys on her team. The boy to her right, when told to smile, did that smile that kids do when parents tell them to smile but it comes across as forced and fake but also completely funny looking. The boy to the left of Kynnslee was the other type of smile kids do where they have the most enormous cheeseballs mile that their eyes close, but hey! at least they are smiling type of smile! Then there was Kynnslee in the middle of these smiling boys with her complete grumpy cat expression on her face looking thrilled to death to be getting her pictures taken. It was quite the picture to say the least!

When the team picture was over, Kynnslee ran over to me and just burst into tears. My mama heart felt so bad. On one hand I think maybe she just isn’t ready yet to play tee-ball or do these sorts of activities yet. Then on the other hand I think I did the right thing by putting her in these scenarios because this is how she can learn and grow. However, seeing how overwhelmed and unhappy she was yesterday while most all the other kids were excited made me feel like the worst parent ever.

Moving on next was individual pictures. We were last in line only because I figured if we went last Kynnslee could take notes and see that it wasn’t scary and that all her other teammates and friends were smiling in their pictures so I thought maybe, just maybe she would follow suite. The photographer was really amazing with all of the kids yesterday and got every single one of her teammates to smile or crack a smirk for their picture so when he got to Kynnslee I thought maybe their was hope yet for a professional picture where she actually smiled. However, this photographer had met his match. There is literally no cracking my Kinny-boo when she’s in this mode and I think even the photographer was shocked he couldn’t crack her. He finally turned to me and said, “well we can either try again a different time or we can roll with this pose” He then said, “you know mom…she kind of has the baseball player look down and this pose could actually be one for the books or something to look back on and laugh at when she graduates.” Fully knowing that trying another time would be a waste of time, I just told the photographer we’d keep whatever shot he got as this is Kynnslee’s personality and we are certainly capturing a memory of this time in her life and her personality. Let’s just keep whatever shot you got.”

You see mombies, we can’t force our kiddos sometimes. Sometimes we just have to roll with whatever mood they are in. I certainly have been just trying to embrace what is more lately. It always amazes me how some parents will go to great lengths to get that perfect shot when in reality it is also incredibly important to just meet our kiddos where they are at and accept them for who they are in whatever moment or mood they are in. My husband goes, “are you really going to order a keychain?” I said, “you bet your butt I’m ordering a keychain of this and I’m going to show it off proudly to whoever asks about it.” Moody or not, I’m so proud of Kynnslee. God made her the way she is for a reason and I love her, I love all of her! That includes her stubborn blood that runs thick.

When all was said and done, I told Kynnslee she did a great job for her pictures and I told her that I was proud of her. She goes, “but Mama, I didn’t smile for my pictures.” I said, “that’s ok kiddo…you still showed up and that’s just as important, now lets go get some ice cream.” …and guess what, I was the one who got the picture perfect smile at the words ice cream! Sometimes I secretly love she saves up all her smiles for me!