Are you a night owl or a morning person? Hands down I am a morning person. I love mornings, I always have! I couldn’t be a night owl even if I tried. My eye lids start to get heavy around 9 PM most nights and the crank in me starts to come out. I feel more lively in the morning. I feel I accomplish more in the morning. I feel most happy in the morning. I feel most energetic in the morning!
One thing I am starting to incorporate in my mornings is time with God. I talk to God. I pray to God. I sometimes just sit in silence hoping God can see what is in my heart, especially when I just don’t have the words. Lately, I’ve been struggling. I’ve been feeling like God has been silent in my days. Recently, a friend of mine, whom is struggling with her own battles of secondary infertility and path in adoption gave me a daily devotional book. I thought this to be a very kind gesture and was overcome with joy to start reading a devotional each day. I chose to read them in the mornings as it is the only time in my day where I can find an hour of quiet and a time I typically have the clearest mind frame.
As I read in this devotional book, I am struck at how many days the entry for that day feels like it is speaking to me or something I can relate to. I had an “Ah Hah” moment yesterday while nose deep into my devotional. I would like to share it with you:
Start of Devotional
Craving God-60 Devotionals for Real Women by Lysa TerKeurst
Day 59- “God, I’m a Little Mad and a Lot Confused
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths strait. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
Though for the Day: God is big enough to handle our honest feelings.
Lysa continued on writing, “Kick off your shoes and get ready to get gut honest. When God doesn’t seem to be answering our prayers, it can be hard. Sometimes, downright awful.
One minute, I’m determined to trust God. The next, I feel myself questioning God. The “why” questions tumble in so hard. My heart hurts. My tears fall. And in those raw moments I just feel a little mad and a lot confused.
Ever been there?
I don’t want to oversimplify what to do in these times. Facing issues that never seem to stop in rough. Really tough. Especially those situations where the answers aren’t easy or clean-cut. But I have discovered three things that help when God seems silent.
1. Press into God when you want to pull away.
When I really want to hear from God, but He seems silent, I sometimes find I want to disengage from my normal spiritual activities. Skip church, Put my bible on the shelf. And let more and more time laspe between prayers. But pulling away only makes things worse. God says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29: 13). All my heart includes the parts that are broken. Bring it all to God. He can handle your honesty and will respond. But we have to go where truth is. Go to church. Listen to praise music. Read the Bible. Memorize verses. And keep talking to God.
2. Praise God out loud when you want to get lost in complaints.
In the midst of whatever you’re facing, find simple things for which to praise God. I don’t mean thank Him for the hard stuff. I mean thank Him for the other simple, good things you are still experience: A child’s laugh. A bush that blooms. The warmth of a blanket. The gift of his breath and then the next.
Scripture reminds me that praise leads to newness: “He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many will see and fear and will trust in the LORD” (Psalm 40:3 NASB). We can literally find new words with which to process life in a more positive way when we choose to praise God instead of complain.
3. Put yourself in the company of truth.
That friend who speaks truth? Listen to her. Stay connected to her. Let her speak truth into your life even when you’re tired of hearing it. As Proverbs 12:26 (NASB) encourages, “The righteous is a guide to his neighbor.” Stand in the shadow of her faith when you feel your own faith is weak. Let her lead you back to God time and time again. It’s ok to feel a little mad and a lot confused. Our God is big enough to handle our honest feelings. But don’t let your feelings lead you away from God or away from His truth. Press into Him. Praise Him. And put yourself in the company of truth. As you stay with God in these ways, you will be ready to receive His answer when it comes.
Dear Lord, thank You for understanding me, even when I’m mad or confused. I pray I would Daily be intentional in coming close to You and praising You. Help me find a good friend whom I can trust to speak truth into my life. In Jesus’ name. Amen. ”
END OF Devotional.
WOW. As I read this again it just really speaks to my heart and I can relate to it so much in this hardship I am in. I trust that God has a plan for me, yet I question it daily. Something triggers me and I become lost in the confusion as to why this is happening to us. I get mad and I get angry. I am fearful of my prayer never being answered. I question and I mull over all the bad. Yet, in the midst of it all I am humbled because I have a God who loves me. He loves me despite it all. In this devotional I was reminded that it’s important to focus on thanking Him for the simple good stuff and this is something I just don’t do enough. Most days lately, I’m so caught up in my struggle I don’t take time to really look around and count my blessings. When I look around, I have a lot of them-both big and small that I am so thankful for even despite this struggle.
I see that God is not silent in my days, I am just not opening my heart enough to truly listen daily. I believe that this particular devotional was God’s way to speak to me and boy, did I feel what he was saying. I hope this devotional speaks to you as well and know you are never alone in your hardships. Find those simple good things in your day and grab hold of them and find delight in them. Life is too short to let the struggles steal your happiness. God has a plan for me and He has a plan for you. I know all I can do is keep believing, praying, trusting & placing my hope in YOU.