Complete funk :(

I am in a complete funk over infertility right now. It’s a funk that I just can’t snap out of it. As I posted in my last entry, our first non medicated and no IUI cycle failed (after 4 failed IUI’s already). My doctor has now given us the option to move on to IVF– the kicker is we can’t afford to.  There is a chance IVF can fail us too, but what if IVF is the answer to our prayers? I just really feel like we will never know if we don’t try and if I don’t exhaust all of our options I will regret it.

My heart of hearts knows we need to do IVF, but how can we make it possible? My husband and I kind of agreed we need to take a break from IUI’s/medication for the summer months but this first months “break” was torture and very hard on me. Honestly, I don’t think I will ever do another IUI again. I talked to my doctor, and she gave me the option to double my dose of Letrozole (to 5mg) and just do timed intercourse and take progesterone starting 5 days after we get a +opk. This would be just for the next few months.  In my opinion, this is better then doing nothing.  Doing nothing doesn’t work, we know this.

My husband and I are going to give it a go so it feels like we are doing what we are able to afford at the moment.  I feel at such a loss right now.  I bawled my eyes out last night and I just have no motivation today.  This is just on my brain and won’t leave.  I need relief from the pain it’s causing my heart.  Reality of our situation has set in at a stronger level then ever for me and the feelings associated with it are very overwhelming.  

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