I have to give my two sense on this show another week, so bear with me…

Mars & Doug:

-They said that Sophia was 6 months old already in this episode.  It seems like they skipped over a few months in their lives to get to this point on the show, but here we are.

-I had to laugh when Doug said that he does everything and he truly he believes that he does.  I think that Mars is slacking in some areas but if she truly is battling with postpartum depression it’s any wonder.  They both need to get help individually and as a couple.

-Gosh it’s sad how much they argue and raise their voice in front of Sophia.  I realize she’s still pretty little, but it’s still got to be scary for her at times.  I wish they would take this into consideration while they have their feuds.

-Every time they get in a blow up argument or Mars starts calling Doug out on things he can’t handle it and he always leaves.  It’s good if you know your limits in your argument and need to take a break and come back to it, but he needs to tell Mars that he’s just too upset to continue talking and let her know he will be back and will talk when he’s settled down.  If I were Mars I would just feel awful due to his behavior and lack of explaining where he is going and when he will be back.  It’s also not fair that he’s always the one that gets to leave to take that break-Mars is always stuck with the baby during these times (hence proves that Doug does not do everything)!

-I’m glad they had their little talk in the park and they both seemed a bit more calmed down which made it easier for them to both talk.  I am also glad that Doug agreed to go to couple counseling.

-I’m surprised how in counseling Mars just brought up postpardum depression to him then and not earlier.  Doug truly seemed shocked at first but then it seemed like something clicked, like that possibility made sense to how she was acting.

-I truly hope Doug can be better emotional support to Mars but I really think once she’s feeling better emotionally she should get a job so that is not an issue for them.  Clearly Doug feels better with two incomes and not having money to fight about is just one less issue to have which would also be good for Sophia’s sake.

-I find it crazy that they don’t know why they are even together or if they even still “like” each other and made it seem like they just moved in together because that was the thing to do at the time.  It’s sad to me when people feel like they don’t have other options, even when a baby is involved.

-I am still very interested to see if these two make it…I have my doubts.

Kristina & Jason:

-I’m so intrigued by these two in that they are able to maintain a relationship outside of the work place and also in the work place.  I love my husband but I think it would be unhealthy for us to be together that much.  Kudos to them for making it work.

-I think it’s awesome that they are trying to expand their company, however, I also think they need to somewhat choose where their priority is.  Is it with the company or is it with Lincoln?  I feel like although they think it’s the best of both worlds to bring Lincoln with them to work, is it really what is best for?  I felt so bad for him just sitting there in his stroller doing nothing while Kristina was trying to work.  Kristina said herself that she didn’t get much done with Lincoln there.  Since they own a company that deals with babysitting I wish they would find a babysitter for Lincoln that could watch him at work so he’s still getting his needs met, Mom and Dad can do their thing but still poke in on breaks or when they need to.  To me that would seem like a win-win situation.

-Lincoln has gotten big too since the last episode and he is adorable!

-I was shocked when Jason said he was thinking about interviewing for a different job.  It seemed as though it came out of left field and although it may be a good opportunity for Jason and for their family-I really didn’t understand why now?  With them trying to branch out and open another office somewhere else it seemed to be such bad timing.  Kristina handled it with Grace but you could tell she was on the verge of tears.  I honestly felt bad for her.  It will be interesting to see what progresses with this and how they will make it work if he has a job change.  Kristina said earlier in the episode that they both just work so well together and Jason does a lot for their company.  It makes me wonder how the company would do without Jason.

Ashley & Tyson:

-I just look at these two and I am tired.  They’ve got to be exhausted.

-It’s too bad Tyson has to go back to work, I truly could not imagine managing all four of those babies on my own and getting all of their needs met.

-I feel bad for Ashley that she can’t take the time to feed each of the girls individually.  To me, this part of infancy with E was so important to me as it was such a strong bonding time.  I feel like Ashley is being robbed of this and it breaks my heart.  I understand she may get some 1:1 feeding time with each of the girls but it’s sad it can’t happen every time. You also feel bad for the girls that her hands are just tied sometimes and their needs can’t be met immediately all of the time.  When I see this I just want to jump into the screen and hold one of those crying babies and help Ashley out.

-Ashley said in the episode they are doing this all on their own and they don’t have help.  I wonder if later on we see them getting more help or if they continue to do it all on their own.  I would be recruiting people, especially in the newborn stage, as Mom has to take care of herself some too.  If Ashley isn’t taking care of herself and getting some rest, she’s going to burn out more quickly and not be able to take care of the girls.  I’m already worried about this for her.

– I’m so sad for Tyson when he has to go back to work.  As much as I’m sure he enjoys the time away just for a sanity break, I’m sure it’s a really tough transition for him as well.

-Oh good, they do own a bigger vehicle and not just a car!  Uffda!

-I could feel their stress when they sat down to talk about their budget.  I could not imagine having the expense of 4 babies at once.  Diapers and formula alone are EXPENSIVE!  I’m curious though what they get in donations each month though and how much this helps their budget?  Talking about a budget is never fun though, I don’t care who you are.  I had to laugh at Ashley’s face when she found out that’s what Tyson wanted to talk about it was kinda like “Ah, crap…but ok lets do this”.   However, they seemed to talk about their budget with ease even though it had to have been stressful.  Not at my household, every budget discussion ends in an argument, tears, or frustration!

-I’m so glad they got a good report on Indie and her hole in her heart.  Thank god!

Sal & Destiny:

-Destiny seems so worried about whether or not Sal’s parents like her or not because they don’t meet her expectation of who Sal should have married.  Could this be in Destiny’s head?  Maybe.  However, they seem to get along with Destiny so I don’t know what she’s so worried about.

-It also seems like Sal and Destiny let the opinions of their parents get in the way of what they truly want and how they want to parent.  They quickly need to realize that they are the parents of Capri, nobody else.  I just want to tell both of them to grow a pair and to squash the crap that is going on NOW.  If they don’t it will just enable their behavior to continue.

-Destiny’s mom is really behaving while Sal’s parents are visiting…I feel like we rarely heard a peep from her this entire episode, which is saying a lot compared to the last episode.  I bet she was ready to burst at the seams though!

-I think it was hilarious that Destiny calls Sal out on the fact that he lets his mom baby him.  I think Destiny has some of her own issues in regards to how she lets her mother treat her, but Sal just kept his mouth shut about it.

-The whole baptism conversation was annoying.  I would never have had this conversation with my parents as I would have done what I wanted because I was the parent, not them.  I don’t understand why they continue to let their parents make all of the decisions for them.  They clearly are swayed by what their parents think even if they think they are not.  It’s really frustrating to watch.

END OPINION!  Please comment and share yours!


Rattled-Ep. 3

Like I mentioned before, my husband and I don’t have the TLC network because we discontinued our Direct TV to save money.  Instead, we just have Netflix and Hulu and an antenna  that gives us basic channels.  I was just sitting down yesterday to watch Rattled online, and it said that I was only able to watch the first 2 episodes for free and if I wanted to continue watching I needed a network username and password to get into it to continue watching.  Ah, crap!  I was in full out panic mode, haha!    However, thanks to my older sister who has a network with TLC, I was able to watch it.  So, a big thank you to my sister! I got my Rattled fix last night, it was much appreciated!

I did not however, write down thoughts as I was going, it was the evening and I simply just wanted to sit back, enjoy and relax.  E had also went to bed early (yesterday also happened to be a no nap day, oy!)  which is a rare occasion so I could watch with no interruptions.  I also made an amazing fruit smoothie so my hand were not free to write!  Excuses I know.  So, you’re getting a day old opinion of what my thoughts were on the show this episode.

Sal & Destiny:

-Destiny seems a little too dependent on  her Mom while she is here, but later in the episode I was happy to see she admits that she needs time to figure things out on her own.

-I was also happy to see that Sal was there and not at his soccer game for the birth!

-However, I thought it was odd at how modest Destiny was trying to be about the whole giving birth thing.  By saying that Sal couldn’t watch the actual birth because she was afraid she would scar his image of her was so ridiculous.  Birth is such a beautiful moment and the father should be able to witness any part of it that he so chooses to see.

-Destiny really surprised me and did a great job at birthing her baby-I really thought she was going to be a giant baby.

-Destiny seems kind of clueless to about aspects of birthing and what it all entails but she also seems like a go with the flow kind of woman and one who does better without knowing all the finer details.

-Capri is a beautiful baby!

-Destiny’s mother is too much for me. I would have asked her to not be in the room with me while giving birth.  She truly acts like she should be taking the baby home with her and that she knows everything.  However, she’s forgetting what being a first time mom is like. I just want to shake her and tell her to back off!

-Capri has a lot of baby clothes!

-I was shocked to see that when they brought Capri home that they instantly put her in the crib and walked out of the room saying she was fine and they would check on her later.  As a first time parent, I was always too paranoid to do that-never taking my eye off E!

-It will be interesting to see how Sal and Destiny do with both their parents around “helping” on the next episode and also how Sal and Destiny do parenting with them around.  Hopefully Destiny continues sticking up for herself-which we got a taste of in this episode.  I was proud of her when she kicked her mom out of the room!

Mars & Doug

-My first thought while watching this, and excuse my french:  Doug is a selfish asshole.  Mars had every right to be pissed off at him after Sophia’s doctor appointment.

-Doug could have waiting until after Sophia’s appointment to take all of his work phone calls.

-For Doug to not be present and be of support to Mars during the shot appointment was so rude.  She flat out told him he needed to be there and he wasn’t.

-I think it was good for Mars to meet with her Sister and talk through some of the things she needed to get off her chest.  It doesn’t seem like her and her sister see each other often, but it’s nice to know that Mars does have some support if she needs it.

-I was surprised to hear that Mars thought she was dealing with postpartum depression because I would have to agree that she is to some degree.

-I was surprised to see also that Mars lost her job and really didn’t seem to be too concerned, but I am proud of her that she said that this lapse in time will giver her time to focus on Sophia-which someone needs to.  It seems like both Doug and Mars are a little on the self-absorbed side and don’t put Sophia’s needs first.

-I couldn’t believe how big Sophia was already in this episode, what a cute little girl!  I really hope that Dough and Mars get their crap together for her sake.

-It’s nice that Mars and Doug had a little date night, but it seemed like it was the first time they were meeting their sitter.  Although she looked normal and fully capable, it made me even nervous.

-I wonder if Doug was thinking “I wish you would have told me about losing your job before I took you out to eat at this expensive restaurant and bought a bottle of wine.”

-Again, Doug is an unsupportive a-hole!  I could not believe (well I could considering it was Doug) how he responded to Mars losing her job-he treated her like she was a child (although she does act like one sometimes).

-I would have been peeved too if Doug woke me up in a dead sleep to feed the baby.  If they are using bottles to feed Sophia there is no reason why Doug couldn’t have taken care of it himself and just let Mars sleep.  They need to figure out how give and take works in a relationship.  They bicker over such stupid stuff-but I do get it to some degree.  Being a new parent is hard and trying to balance a relationship being a new parent is even harder-especially when sleep is lacking.

-Mars makes the comment that she wonders if she’d be better off “doing this herself”.  However much of an a-hole Doug is-I really don’t see Mars doing anything herself!  I really think they both need to work on themselves before they can even work on their relationship.  It will be interesting to see what happens.

Kristina and Jason

-Kristina seems too happy about going to work initially; however, I was actually glad to see her break down and say it was harder to leave Lincoln then she thought it would be.

-For Kristina, I was honestly glad to see her go back to work though.  She needed a breath of fresh air and for her own mental well being needed to feel like she was more then a mom again.

-Kristina looked genuinely happy to put herself together and looked even happier while at work.

-I think it was good for Jason to be home with Lincoln and experience some of what Kristina was feeling.

-I am so proud of Jason for being so supportive and making it work for them to have a give and take relationship.

-You can tell Kristina and Jason love Lincoln, but still seem to focus more on their company.

-Dang their apartment is small.  I also didn’t realize they had a dog.

-You can tell that Kristina appreciate’s Lincoln so much more now that she’s had a break from him.  So much so, that she was brought to tears over his reaction to her coming home that day.  Although that clip made me laugh “he said goo, and then I said goo”-haha!

Ashley and Tyson

-I can’t imagine the overwhelming feelings these two had upon bringing their 4 girls home.

-I can’t imagine how crazy stressful it was that first night-but to have all those cords and beeping monitors to deal with must have added to that stress tenfold.  Kudos to these two, for real!

-They really do work together well and compliment one another.  It seemed as though they had a true routine down well and supported one another with every aspect of their day/night.

-I appreciate that Tyson gets emotional and is able to show his emotions on camera.  You can just tell the love he has for Ashley and all of his girls and that he is a man with a big heart.

-I wonder if it was hard for Ashley to not experience breast feeding her girls. It doesn’t appear she does or even uses breast milk.  She seems like the type that would have loved to have been able to have this experience.

-Tyson and Ashley also need a bigger place.  I will probably say this every episode, but now we see their living conditions after they bring the girls home and they truly just don’t have enough space.

-Ashley and Tyson looked SO tired this episode.

-I truly would be terrified when Tyson goes back to work.  I am curious to see what type of support and help these two get when he does go back.

-The babies are so tiny!

-Again, Ashley looks wonderful for just having Quads!

-These two can’t even sit down for 2 seconds to catch their breath.  I just could not imagine having quads-but what an amazing experience and miracle these two have been blessed with. God doesn’t give us more then we can handle and I firmly believe these two are capable of whats in store for them!

Hopefully I am able to tune in for Ep. 4 again with the help of my sister:)  What were your thoughts on Ep. 4?



On Strength…

Yesterday, I blogged on how positive thinking is great for the mind and body, and today I want to speak on strength. I believe that on most days, it takes great strength to think positively, as it’s easier to take the road to negativity.  I’ve never realized how much strength it takes to put one foot in front of the other each and every single day facing infertility, until this struggle was placed in my life and I was walking in these shoes.  I look back at how much my husband and I have overcome since the very beginning of our infertility journey, and all that we have endured and I must say it’s taken great strength to get to today.  Bob Marley said it best when he spoke these words, “You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.”.

There are so many quotes about strength that I hold near and dear to my heart and I wanted to share a handful that really speak to me and that I can apply to my own life with infertility.  I find that these quotes give me positive vibes, encouragement, hope, and reassurance that I can continue on no matter what.  Sometimes, it’s the simple reminders that help me continue to think positive and say, “I can do this” each day, especially on the days I feel like I can’t.  By sharing these, it’s my hope that with whatever you are struggling with today, that these help to put a little more pep in your step as well and help to remind you that you are stronger then you will ever realize and you’ve got this!

“I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled upon my strength.” -Alex Elle

“Strength does come from what you can do.  It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn’t do.” -Rikki Rogers

“Never apologize for being sensitive or emotional.  Let this be a sign that you’ve got a big heart and aren’t afraid to let others see it.  Showing your emotions is a sign of strength.” -Brigitte Nicole

“True strength is the ability to go through each day accomplishing the impossible and doing what no one thought you could.” -Nishan Panwar

“Strength and growth come only through continuous effort and struggle.” -Napoleon Hill

“A women’s strength isn’t just about how much she can handle before she breaks.  It’s also about how much she must handle after she’s broken.” -Unknown

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggling, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.  These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness and a deep loving concern.  Beautiful people do not just happen.” -Elisabeth Kubler Ross

“Step in my shoes and walk the life I am living and if you get as far as I am, just maybe you will see how strong I really am.” -Unknown

“Anyone can give up, its the easiest thing in the world to do.  But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength.” -Unknown

“She stood in the storm, and when the wind did not blow her away, she adjusted her sails.” -Elizabeth Edwards

“On particularly rough days when I’m sure I can’t possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days is 100% and that’s pretty good.” -Unknown

“The pain that you’ve been feeling , can’t compare to the joy that’s coming.” -Romans 8:18

“True strenth is when you have a lot to cry about, but you choose to smile instead and take another step forward.” -Unknown

“Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us.” -Unknown

“Jesus replied, you don’t understand what I am doing but someday you will.” -John 13:7

“The Lord is my strength and my shield.  In Him my heart trusts.” -Psalm 287

“Forget all the reasons it won’t work and believe in the one reason why it will.” -Unknown

“Hardships often prepare ordinary people for an extraordinary destiny.”  -C.S. Lewis

…and last but not least,

“Just keep swimming.” -Finding Nemo

Have a great day, be kind to yourself, and keep your chin up!

Much love,

Nichole 🙂






Positive Thoughts

I stumbled upon this quote today and it is a great reminder for me for the place I am in right now.  If it’s one thing I really need at this time, it’s positive thoughts and positive support.  It’s so easy to think of the negative, especially with all that has already gone wrong BUT there really are benefits to positive thinking for both the mind and the body. With that, the importance of remembering to BREATHE and taking deep breaths in times of stress are so important. This helps you to cope better with stress.  Along with breathing, another element to getting on the positive thinking track is focusing on self care.  Self care is something I’ve written about in blogs past and find so important in the equation of being able to think positively.  It’s like the old saying goes, “If you think you can you will, and if you think you can’t, you won’t.”  However, some outcomes are not determined by thinking alone and are just simply out of our control and this is something that can be hard, even when you have the best hope and most positive thoughts about a circumstance.

With that said, I have to be honest with myself and say that I am a work in progress when it comes to positive thinking. I try to think positively, but I also have to separate the reality of my situation and it’s potential outcome.  Part of self care is knowing when to reach out and ask for help. So, if you are reading this and you are a complete stranger to me I am reaching out and asking for you to send me some extra positive energy and positive thoughts right now by simply leaving a comment on my blog.  If you are reading this and you know me personally, and are a family member or friend, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I could really use positive distractions, positive vibes, positive thoughts, and some extra love and TLC right now.  The biggest thing I ask of you is to pray for me and my family right now.  The little things are the big things that really and truly mean the most.

For those of you who are also struggling with staying positive while trying to conceive, I found a short article that gave a few tips on trying to stay positive while trying to conceive. It’s a good article with a handful of tips for combating those negative thoughts that we all struggle with.

How to Stay Positive When Trying to Conceive







Well, I watched another episode of, “Rattled” on TLC yesterday. Of course, I didn’t watch it Tuesday when it aired, rather I watched in on the internet because we don’t have the TLC network.  There is going to be no formality to this blog, rather my random thoughts I had about the show.  A friend of mine sent me her thoughts on the show that she said she kept track and wrote down while watching the show-genius!  I will have to remember that for next week.  This week thoughts came a day after watching the show so I’m probably really missing some of what I was really thinking…so again, tune in to my blog next week on Episode 3.

Sal & Destiny:

-I had no idea that there was going to be a 4th couple on the show.

-I really hope this is the last couple coming on the show or they will take time away from the Gardner family (the one I really care to hear about).

-Destiny, Harmony and what was the 3rd sister’s name?  Not a fan of any of those names and they all sound relatively the same.  Interesting.  Were their parents Hippies?

-I really hope they don’t name their baby Chandelier.  Her mom seems cray-cray.

-Oh good, they are naming their baby girl Capri, not Chandelier.

-I’ve never heard of Capri for a name.  It’s different.  I kind of like it.

-Did you see how young Destiny’s brother was?  Did her parents steal him since it seems the want to steal Capri?

-Sal is a professional soccer player and Destiny a model-Damn!

-I am close with my mother, but not so close to have her taking pictures of me while giving birth.

-I most definitely nip Destiny’s overbearing-mother attitude in the butt before the baby was here.  I couldn’t handle that at all.

-Having both sets of parents there for extended period of time after Capri is born just seems like a bad idea.

-Will Sal be playing soccer when the baby is born or will he be a part of the birth?

Mars & Doug:

-Cripes, where do I begin? *slapping palm of hand on forehead*

-I do feel bad that they could not take their baby home with them right away from the hospital and you can tell Mars is clearly heartbroken over this. I could not imagine not taking E home with me when I was discharged.  It would have been very hard.

-However, they make it seem like the hospital is holding their baby hostage for no good reason.  It truly is for her health and safety at this point and if I were them, I would want her to go home when she was good and ready.

-Doug please confirm you are going through a mid life crisis.  I still believe you are.  You are a man child.

-I again, feel badly for Mars that it’s been 6 weeks and she admitted that she does not feel a bond with her baby yet.  It really saddens me.  I know this happens, but I just could never imagine because my bond with E was instant.

-Mars seems jealous of Doug that he can calm the baby and has somewhat bonded with her better.  Although I would feel sad too that there was a lack of a bond, I would be grateful that my baby was being soothed by someone and able to be content.

-Did you see how rosy the babies cheeks were in the car seat because she was all bundled up in that warm suit?  Babies get hot and sweaty fairly quickly, especially when left in a car seat.  I was so upset watching this and wondering how long he was going to leave her in that while he was working.  Very annoyed.

-Did Doug even change the baby at all while she was in his care?  Maybe that’s why he told Mars he lucked out and didn’t have any poopy diapers.

-Doug, you are an idiot.  Don’t eat hot soup over a baby.  I don’t care if you covered her head with a blanket or not.  Use your head.

-Mars, can you just try to have some personality?  You just seem like you don’t care and are very blah?

-Also, it seems Mars is used to just doing her own thing and only having to worry about herself.  Partly why I think she doesn’t feel a bond to her baby is because she is still more worried about herself at this point and thinking she’s the one who should be cared for and doted on by Doug-I think there is some jealously right now.

Kristina & Jason:

-There is no doubt in my mind this couple is more then capable of taking care of Lincoln.

-However, my mouth dropped when Kristina said, “This baby needs to start fitting into our lives, not the other way around.”  News flash for you the baby should be your life right now!  They run their own schedules.  When will this couple understand this?

-I was also shocked at how much Kristina seems to hate breastfeeding.  Honestly, if you think it’s so much of a chore she does have other options!  I just had such a wonderful bonding experience breastfeeding E and never looked at it as a chore, I looked at it as quality time spent with my baby and knowing I was doing the best thing for her made me feel like it was the right thing.  Never once did I take it for granted and I’d give anything to be in Kristina’s shoes right now.  The first few weeks are hard for sure, I get it but stop complaining lady.  He’s going to grow up right before your eyes and you’ll never get these precious moments back.

-Also found it strange that Kristina needs an alarm to tell her which boob to feed from.  I breast fed from both boobs every feeding and then pumped after.  No alarm needed.  I still think it’s an OCD issue with her, where she needs to plan, schedule and be in control.  Plus that damn whistle alarm tone makes me check my phone every time I hear it on the show because I have that same damn alarm as my text tone-I am gonna have to change it, I never realized how annoying it is!

-I loved Jason showed such love and support to Kristina by buying that boob bottle contraption.  I’ve never seen one before.  I think Kristina found not only humor in this but also felt supported and like Jason was trying to better understand what she is going through and really appreciated his gesture.  Way to go Jason

-Loved also how Jason seems so supportive of Kristina’s desire to go back to work.  Some people are just not cut out to be at home with their kids and Kristina is not one of them.  It definitely isn’t easy.  It must be hard too in that she feels confined to their tiny apartment.  I’d feel like I was suffocating in that too.  I don’t get why she feels like she has to stay there-she can take the baby outside or to a store-anywhere to socialize so she doesn’t feel so isolated.  However, maybe there is some post pardem depression going on well?

Ashley & Tyson:

-I was looking forward to seeing more detail about their birth story and they truly moved me to tears.

-Everyone that was involved in the quads birth were simply amazing.  From Ashley to Tyson to their amazing care staff.  Really-kudos to this hospital staff.  I can’t imagine all the planning and prepping that was involved to make their births a success. Simply amazing.

-I thought Ashley and Tyson really held it together well considering all they knew could happen and go wrong.  I can’t imagine it’s easy seeing your baby in the NICU, let alone 4 of your babies in the NICU.

-I couldn’t believe how pale Ashley was the first time they showed her visiting her babies after birth.  I know she is pale in complexion on a normal day but she was almost transparent.  They never really talked much about her health or how she was feeling after birth which was a disappointment to me because I was curious.

-This couple should be role models to the rest of the couples on the show.  They seem to have their shit together more then the rest of the couples on the show and they have FOUR babies to care for and bring home, the others are having trouble just with one.  You guys are ROCK STARS!

-I really wonder how long recovery was for Ashley and how long her hospital stay was.  The part where they were trying to put the car seat in, she truly looked amazing for just having quads.  She’s beautiful!

-They must live in a town house of some sort-holy small.  I complain about the size of my house even with just the 3 of us and a dog and a cat.  I couldn’t imagine needing 4 of everything for a baby all at once and trying to squeeze it in the space they have.  TLC please give this couple a house with adequate space-they deserve it!

-It was so scary when the one quad started to turn blue.  It goes to show how quickly things can change-and they will in a matter of seconds.  I would truly be terrified to bring those babies home without care staff 24/7, especially because I have no medical background.  They seem to be handling this well and are very hands on.  Again, amazing!

-Ashley and Tyson are so brave and true role models to all couples.  They are so down to earth, appreciative, giving, humble, grateful, and loving and supportive to one another.  I just love watching them and can’t get enough of them on the show!

-If you don’t follow them on facebook, you need to.  Also follow their blog/vlog!

Well, that’s all I’ve got for now.  Tune in next week as I express my opinions of episode 3!

Happy birthday Dad.

Today is my Dad’s 59th birthday. Happiest of birthday’s Dad!  I’ve been teasing him a lot about being an “old fart” but truth is, I’m glad he is here and I’m glad I’ve gotten to have my Dad in my life for this long-he truly is a blessing!  I know I can’t be there to celebrate with him today, but he is close to my heart and in my thoughts.  I never realized how important my Dad is to me until I had my own daughter.  The role of a Dad is so incredibly important and is so very special.  I wanted to take a few extra moments to blog about my Dad and express the importance of birthdays because so often so many of us take them for granted.

Thankfully, we were able to make a visit to my parents at the end of January and got to celebrate an early birthday with my dad. This allowed us to spend some quality time together.  My husband spent a couple evenings ice fishing with him, my daughter enjoyed the small moments (which some day she will quickly learn were the bigger moments), bonding with Papa as he cleaned his fish, laughing while making chocolate malts together, playing together and the endless banter that goes on between the two.  I for one enjoyed seeing my Dad bonding with both my husband and daughter and just being in the moment with my family while I was there.  Seeing my dad laugh and smile brings great joy to my heart.  I’ve quickly realized as an adult how much both my parents mean to me and how special time with them is.   It is so precious, especially since we can not see each other on a regular basis like we used to.  I really miss them everyday.

It amazes me how quickly time has, flown by over the years.  Sometimes, I wake up and really can’t believe I’m an adult, a wife and a parent.  It feels like just yesterday I was living at home with my parents wondering what being all these things would one day be like.  It’s so important to not wish your life away, and thank goodness for the memories we hold so near and dear to our hearts.  I really do miss those times at home (at the time, I just couldn’t wait to be an adult).

Thinking back, I have so many cherished memories with my Dad.  My dad has always been a humorous guy, quick-witted, and a firm, but loving Dad.  He’s been there for me and has provided me a place I can always call home.  He’s taught me so much over the years and I appreciate him being such a huge part of my life and now being a huge part of my husband and daughters life as well.  My love of nature and  being outdoors is something he has instilled in me and I gratefully have spent a lot of time with him doing one of our favorite hobbies together-hunting.  There have been so many special memories made doing this with him that I will forever cherish.  I also have some of my Dad’s humor instilled in me, which may not come out as often as it does in him-but when it does, I will often hear people say, “Gosh, you sound so much like your Dad!”.  If someone would have said that to me when I was a teenager, I would have wanted to slap them-now, as an adult-I’m thrilled when I hear I’m like my Dad. He’s really an awesome, all around wonderful guy.   What can I say?  He’s my Dad. I will always have unconditional love for him.

Every year, birthdays roll around for friends and family and with everything I’ve gone through the past two years struggling with infertility, it reminds me why we truly celebrate them.  We celebrate them because it was the day of your birth. It was the day you miraculously appeared on this earth and gave one of the best gifts you could ever give to your Mom/Dad.  Have you ever stopped to reflect on the moment of your birth?  I know you can’t remember it, but I’m sure you’ve heard stories from your parents about it.  This one day we celebrate you and the miracle that you are.  It is simply amazing.

I am convinced more and more that we are all not here by accident-that we all have some purpose to fulfill here on earth and that is just an astounding thought to me.  Every one of us is to be celebrated-our lives, our accomplishments and what’s to come.  I always hear people griping about “another birthday” “just another year older” “another wrinkle” etc.  I am guilty of this very thing and this year my attitude is shifting.  Be grateful for another birthday, being another year older, and another wrinkle.  It just means your story isn’t done yet and you should take advantage of every moment that God has blessed you with.  Life is so precious-it’s meant to be lived not taken for granted.  Someone wanted you here on earth so badly-maybe it was you who your parents struggled to conceive you and when you finally arrived you gave them the best gift of their life.  This gift of life and you are to be celebrated.  Please don’t take it for granted, cherish it, live your life to it’s fullest, and celebrate your life-especially on your birthday.

So, with that.  Cheers to the first man in my life, a guy that no one will ever replace in my heart, my Dad.  He may be an old fart now-but he’s my old fart and I’m so happy to celebrate another birthday, him being another year older, and the possible extra wrinkle that just showed up today (sorry, I probably gave you most of your previous wrinkles)! You sure are a special son, brother, uncle, friend, husband, dad and grandpa!  So many people love and care about you! There is only one you.  Today we celebrate you 🙂  Happiest of birthdays and hopefully, here is to many more!  I love you to pieces Dad, and I hope one day E not only realizes what a great Papa you are but how lucky she is to also have such a great Dad in her life too, just like I had a great Dad in mine.

"A father is neither an anchor to hold us back, nor a sail to take us there, but a guiding light whose love shows us the way." - Unknown:

My dad is in hospice and is not going to be with us much longer. These are some very true words. My dad is my best friend and I am the person I am because of him.:


My Dad and I at my older sister’s wedding reception

A blast from the past, Dad holding my older sister and I- being his goofy self!

One of the many major milestones in my life that my Parents were there for me-my High School Graduation!

Dad teaching me to shoot bow for the first time!


A moment I will never forget, my dad holding my daughter (his first granddaughter) for the first time!

I love this picture for so many reasons.  First reason is because I always see my dad happiest when he’s at our Cabin-it’s his happy place!  Secondly, the look on my mom’s face because my Dad is being his typical goofy self is priceless and thirdly-gotta love that shit ass grin of his!

Like I said-I have so many wonderful times that I cherish with my dad and these are only a few.  I enjoy reflecting on these memories-they are cherished and life has only been better because Dad’s in it!

Rattled on TLC

How many of you have seen the new show, “Rattled” on TLC?  I, unfortunately, no longer have Direct TV so I do not get the TLC network anymore.  However, when I first heard about this show, I knew it was one I wanted to see.  I am fortunate that I was able to tune in via my computer on http://www.tlc.com/.  “Rattled” is a 60 minute long show that airs on Tuesdays (sorry, I’m unsure of the time).  It is about three couples from different states, who are all welcoming into this world their first child with each other.  I say “with each other” because one of the couples Mars and Doug, Doug already has three children from a previous marriage.  I should also say “welcoming babies” because another couple, Ashley and Tyson are having quads as their first time as parents.  They also struggled with infertility and went though IVF to have these miracle babies.  The other couple, Kristina and Jason are welcoming one baby and both new to parenting.  Each couple has such a unique situation and brings me back to when I was preparing for E’s arrival and all the over-whelming feelings of being a first time parent and trying to still juggle a relationship with your significant other.  Obviously, the couple I can relate to most on the show right now is Ashley and Tyson and I secretly wish the show was just about them.  I’ve been following them since I first heard of their story so I’m already a little bias. Sitting down and watching the first episode last week, my head was a whirl wind of thoughts, which brings me to this blog post because I want to discuss my opinions of each couple and thoughts of the show.

Lets start with Mars and Doug.  I have to say it bluntly, they are my least favorite couple on the show and I’ve already formed many judgments about them both as a couple and as individuals and also as parents.  Half the time that I was watching them I was either shaking my head in disgust or in shock at how clueless they both seemed.  They have had 9 months to prepare for the arrival of their daughter and literally had nothing prepared for her and they were just moving in together so their living space wasn’t even ready for them to live in, let alone a baby.  Not to mention, Mars was almost going to give birth at home and they called 911 because it got to that point.  It just seemed like they were uneducated and naive about the birthing process.  Mars, in my opinion, seems very immature and self centered and seems to be very depended on Doug who also seems like he’s a man child or going through a mid-life crisis.  Their relationship just appears unstable and just odd.  I was also disgusted with their selfishness at the hospital and disregard for their care staffs opinions.  Their baby was born and the nurses/doctors told them that Mars and Doug could be discharged but the baby would have to stay to be cared for and monitored.  Doug and Mars threw a complete fit about this and just seemed to focus on their own selfish reasons as to why they wanted the baby to go home with them and didn’t take into consideration it was for the babies health and safety as to why she truly should stay.    This couple is unbelievable-and not in a good way!  My honest thought after seeing this couple was that I will never understand why people like this are blessed with innocent children and then there are people like me-fully capable and loving and in a good place to have a family and am struggling.  It was very hard to watch this couple and stirred up a lot of emotions in me.  I am anxious to see how they are when they don’t have the care staff for the baby and for Mars and see how they do bringing the baby home.

Next up, lets talk about Kristina and Jason.  Although, this couple seems put together, loving, responsible and ready to start a family they are so clueless on what’s to come. Both are successful, busy and owners of their own company and their company seems to be their baby right now.  Little do they know that their baby will indeed be calling the shots and needing to come first.  Although they seem very organized-going as far as putting together a complete schedule of how their life will work with their new baby-all down to a nap schedule and feeding times-it just seems like they are very controlling.  I liked this couple and had no real negative thoughts about them while watching, other then getting a little humor about how this baby is going to rock their world.  When the baby comes they are going to have to learn to let go of that control an see it isn’t about their schedule, but the babies.   Some things they are going to have to learn to just roll with, but will they be able to do it?  I have my doubts.  I have strong feelings that not being in control will be especially hard for them.  I think Kristina is going to have a mental and emotional breakdown because of her type A personality and always needing a plan.  As a parent, we all know that no matter how much we plan things, oftentimes, plans are just thrown out the window when a baby comes into the picture.  I think this will be really hard for her and will also add extra stress for Jason.  I am interested in seeing how they balance work and baby.

I had to save my favorite couple for last, Ashley and Tyson.  I love, love, love this couple. I really can’t say enough great things about them.  The fact that they have struggled with infertility and went though the IVF process really tugs at my heart, because I can relate to all the emotions involved in the journey and all they’ve gone through to get to this point.  My heart is just so overwhelmingly happy for this couple and you can just tell how much in love, how supportive they are to one another, how humble and grateful they are to be pregnant, and what amazing parents they will be to their girls.  They honestly seem like the most normal couple on the show.  I honestly could care less about the other two couples and kept finding myself wanting to see more times spent focusing on this couple. I am truly impressed at how they are  handling their circumstance and trying to make the most of Ashley having to be on bed rest for so long.  It’s hard not getting emotional yourself watching this couple.  I can’t imagine how nervous they are to take care of four babies and the expense of it all.  You can tell it’s overwhelming for them, but given what they’ve been through, you can tell that their focus is on delivering 4 healthy babies and preparing for what’s to come.  They are just simply amazing.  Although, I know a little bit more about what’s to come for them because I follow their blog it will be interesting to see how the show continues to portray them and to see things that I otherwise have not seen posted on their blog.

So, what are your thoughts of each couple and the opinions of the show?