I spent some time reflecting yesterday about my journey with Secondary Infertility and all I have gone through to get to this very moment. I also reflected on everything I have learned along the way (not only things about myself, but about the human body, fertility, and how to cope among all the heartache). A part of my reflection was spent thinking about all of the wonderful people I have met/spoke with regarding their own personal struggles with infertility along the way, and on what women/men struggling with infertility go through to make the possibility of having a baby a reality (it seems we go to great length to make our dreams come true, even when the odds are stacked against us). My one conclusion to my thoughts is that we are a special group of people in this population we live in- we are amazing!
If you are still walking the path of infertility in any way, shape or form I applaud you. Whether you are dealing with primary infertility, secondary infertility-looking to foster or adopt or are at the beginning stages of treatment or the end of your journey. I for one know what kind of strength it takes to crawl out of bed in the morning and face the day. If you are like me your days in this challenge you, they change you, and you are forced to be courageous every second of everyday. We are amazing!
Everyday, we wear our armor of strength as we face many obstacles in our journey with infertility. Some days our strength wavers while other days it is strong and steadfast. We possess the kind of strength that is there because it has to be. We know when we need to lean on others for support, and although it can be hard to ask for help-we do. We know when we need to use our inner strength to get through milestones in this journey because we know no one else can do it for us. We take a deep breath, hold on to hope, and say a few prayers and continuously trudge on in this journey because our dreams are big and our desires in our heart are firm. We are amazing.
While we continue to stay strong, we also are courageous. What we are going through is invisible, misunderstood, and not openly talked about. We face many obstacles in our day that challenge us to either talk about our struggle, ignore our struggle, or put on a face when we feel like crying because we are in so much pain. We are courageous because there are triggers in every second of our everyday and yet we continue on-someway, somehow we make it to another day, facing this ‘thing’ that is our reality. With the many appointments, medications, procedures, and invasions of our body we continue to stay tough. We are amazing!
With all the things infertility takes away from us, we could easily give up. With a lifestyle that is dictated by cycle calendars, OPK’s, appointments, medication times, and when we can or can not have sex-it can just seem unfair. We often feel like we are being robbed of our privacy and our intimacy. Because treatments are oftentimes so invasive there is absolutely no privacy when it comes to your body or your sex life. Intimacy goes out the window because there is no longer spontaneity and sex begins to feel like a chore and you can easily become desensitized to something that should be so wonderful between you and your partner. We know it’s worth it to feel this way if all we are doing will someday result in a miracle. We are amazing!
This journey has been nothing but an up and down roller coaster ride and I know it is like this for many walking this path. In my experience so far, for every step forward has been one step back with many detours and so much waiting. The waiting is painful and seems like the longest Season we have ever lived. We hang on to a hope that feels like is always a double edge sword. Yet not one day goes by that we don’t believe that our miracle will bless our lives and all this pain, heartache, and struggle will have been worth every second of this very hard journey. We continue to hang on to faith. We are amazing!
What we have been through doesn’t define us, but it is now your story-grab hold of it. Learn from it and use it as a teaching and a helping tool. It is meant to be shared with others, to inspire, to give hope and to change you so that you are able to become the best person you can be. Because you are: extra-ordinary, miraculous, marvelous, spectacular, wonderful, stupendous, awe-inspiring, impressive, magnificent, moving, remarkable, special, awesome, eye-opening, mind-blowing, overcoming, inspiring, outstanding, excellent, strong, good, worthy, brave, courageous, understanding, heart-felt, empathetic, forgiving, spirited, tough, admirable, beautiful, lovable, encouraging, motivating, strong, bold, stead-fast, and heart-warming. We are these things and so much more. We are simply amazing!
Don’t let anyone ever tell you any differently. Most important of all, tell yourself you are amazing! Believe it, because it’s true. This journey is hard. We can easily beat ourselves up and tear ourselves down. However, whether you have children you can physically hold, or if you have children you can only hold in your heart know that you are some of the best mothers I will ever know because, “A mother is not defined by the number of children you can see, but by the love she holds in her heart.”-Franchesca Cox
Reflection is an amazing thing, and I am so grateful I had time to do this yesterday. It gives me a whole knew perspective and purpose. It continues to give me the strength to go on and reassures me I am doing what in my heart feels right to make my miracle happen. Even if my story doesn’t end in the way I hope, I know at the end of the day I will not be living with regrets. I’m wishing you all a great rest of the week and may you find the strength to think positive thoughts and be kind to yourself in this very hard path we are walking!