October is very special because it is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Month (miscarriage, stillbirth, SIDS, death of a newborn, etc). President Ronald Reagan declared this in 1988 (just a little fact that I was not aware of until now). Although pregnancy & infant loss is something that is a daily remembrance for many going through it firsthand, oftentimes, that remembrance is kept in silence and many are made to feel like they should have to get over their loss, move on and not talk about it. Knowing many close friends and some family members who have had the loss of a baby, it’s not that simple. Instead, women/men/couples/families should have the proper support to learn to live with their loss in a healthy manner instead. They are parents and they are grieving. This is why once a year this month allows society to break that silence and stigma and helps to brings awareness, support, and education to the table. Specifically, October 15th is set aside as Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day. You may see the awareness ribbon that is light pink & baby blue that supports the cause of this month.
Although in my time struggling with Secondary Infertility I never actually had gotten pregnant until going through IVF, each month that I saw a negative pregnancy test, it felt like I lost our baby. Each month that I did not become pregnant, I was going through the grieving process, it was hard to function, and I lived and breathed this world that was my reality. Support was lacking. Understanding was lacking. Empathy was lacking. Compassion was lacking. Education was lacking. I can relate to those feelings and the dark cloud that is over your head daily. To actually get pregnant and lose that baby in anyway, shape or form is unimaginable to me and a heartbreak I hope to God that I never have to experience. It saddens me to know so many who have had to experience this in their life. I have so much empathy for individuals, couples and families that are grieving this type of loss and I have grown to have a lot of compassion for this topic. My thoughts and prayers are with each of you now and always. It takes a great deal of strength to get through each and every day for you and your angel babies are so incredibly special, should be remembered and never forgotten.