Encouragement needed.

Life has been moving in full speed for me 24/7.  There are no breaks for rest, no quiet moments, or time to regroup my mind, body, and soul.  I’m not sleeping much either these days.  It seems if it’s not one thing, it’s another. Some of these things have been big and some have been small.  Some of these things have been causing little stress and some have been causing great stress.  There are moments where I am so overwhelmed I feel like I can’t even think strait.  Then there have been moments my anxiety is sky rocketing because I think too much while I am thinking strait.  On a daily basis, I look up to the heavens and think Dear God, Help me!!!  I take a deep breath and try to keep putting one foot in front of the other, but my tank is on E.

Recently, I found the milk in the cubboard, instead of the fridge.  I walked into the living room because I needed something in there, except halfway there I forgot why I was going into the living room to begin with.  I’m still trying to think of what that something was-although, probably insignificant now. I got to the parking lot of E’s school to drop off her class snack for the week, only to turn around and look in the backseat of the car and realize I left all the snacks at home.  One morning, I also started applying my mascara as eyeliner and not because I didn’t have eyeliner and I was trying to improvise but because I truly thought I was holding my eyeliner.  Clearly these are a few examples of being overwhelmed and exhausted.

If I am honest with myself and you, I am 100% overwhelmed and exhausted right now.  I am knee deep in the constant demands of my family and daily duties.  I am constantly hearing other moms saying they need a nap and/or coffee to make it through another day and sadly I don’t think either of those things would suffice for me right now, although if either were offered to me I would not turn them down.

If asked what I do need to keep putting one foot in front of the other each day to energize and motivate me, I truly come up blank.  This is because I’ve forgotten the me in me. I’ve given so much of myself to my family I never have the energy to even think of myself anymore.  Down time (by myself) has always been something I need to gain some get up and go back.  Down time is non-existent lately.   The me in me is on the back burner constantly, causing a complete burnout and depletion of energy.  I am seeking daily encouragement as well because I constantly feel like the worst mom or a failure and am beating myself up for not being able to juggle it all.  I compare myself to working moms who still have to do what I do.  I feel like I can’t do it all and I am not working and always think to myself I don’t know how I could work and do this!

Am I being too hard on myself?  Maybe. As a mom, it’s especially hard to admit all of what I’ve talked about.  It’s hard to admit when you need help.  It’s hard to admit that you feel like you need a break.  It’s hard to be vulnerable and admit that you can’t do it all.  It’s also ok to need some time to yourself so you can regroup.  I’m slowly realizing I can’t take care of everyone and everything if I am not taking care of myself.

I feel like I’m losing my ever-loving mind.  I’m forgetting what inspires me, drives me and gives me hope…

Today, I just need some encouragement.

Advertisements

4 thoughts on “Encouragement needed.

  1. Life can be so hard sometimes. I’m fortunate enough to be a SAHM with Lucy, but she is so social and we are going to enroll her in a preschool part-time in the fall. I feel guilty and bad that she’s going (I should be finding her more activities to do, I need to cherish these days with her more, I should be enough for her), but she’s going to love it because she wants to play with other kids her own age, and explore and learn and have fun. And I will get some me time back. I will get a break from both kids at the same time during the day. I might even join a gym WITH childcare so that I can exercise without too much guilt. It’s so hard to admit you need or want a break, but if it’s what you need for yourself, then we need to find ways to do it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Being a SAHM is a blessing isn’t it? I know it has its ups and downs, but even on my worst day, I wouldn’t trade staying home with my daughters for anything. Time just goes by too fast and like I tell my husband, I will have the rest of my life to work once they are grown! With that said though, it’s so important for SAHM’s to find healthy ways to still take care of ourselves and also make time for ourselves. It’s so easy to lose the you in you! Mom guilt has been at an all time high for me since having my 2nd daughter and times are so much harder then I ever thought they would be. Like you said, we need to find ways to still make sure we are taken care of too! Hopefully you find that healthy balance soon!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Gentle hugs…..
    Please be kind to yourself.
    You have a lot on your plate (and add just having had surgery as an additional stress.)

    Something I have found helpful is going back to basics by doing 5 minutes of a daily devotion during the day. Just a few minutes to nourish your mind and soul. I’d be happy to send you one of my devotional books.

    Sometimes when everything just seems to be too much we have to start with baby steps.

    Keeping you in my prayers.

    /Stina

    Like

    • Thank you so much Stina for your prayers and thoughtful advice! One of my goals this year was to try and make a little time for myself and I started to work out again-some days I only find 30 minutes to do this and other days I manage to find a full hour, but any little bit helps for sure. I enjoy doing daily devotionals as well. Do you have any recommendations on good ones to do?

      Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s