As much as I love being a mother, the role of being one is simply exhausting at times. One thing I ask of my readers is to please not see the previous statement as a complaint or me taking for granted being a mother. Rather see it as a fact of motherhood. If you hear a mother make the statement that she is exhausted, don’t ignore her or roll your eyes or undermine what she is saying. Never ever compare your exhaustion to hers because we all have different levels of exhaustion that put us over the edge (feel free to compare if you are relating to her though). For the love of God, instead of judging her, show her some love, give her your sympathy, display a level of compassion, practice empathy and maybe even lend a helping hand to her. If you hear a mother say she is exhausted, it’s typically a cry for help (seriously) and she’s just waiting for someone to reach out to her because a mom isn’t going to ask for help or burden others when she desperately needs a break (at least this mama doesn’t)! In fact, most mothers I know are running on little sleep as they are so busy caring for their children and family around the clock. They seem to be fully caffeinated bodies (or wined-up bodies) and are in a zombie like state most of the time because they are going-going-going 24/7. There have been some days as of late that I’ve been so exhausted, I can’t even complete thoughts and I feel like I’m walking in circles trying to remember what I was about to do next. Care-taking is very exhausting and easily burns you out. When you are not taking care of yourself it gets harder and harder to take care of others. Again, a fact.
As a mother, if you find the previous facts to be untrue, please message me and tell me what your secrets are as I’d love to know and so would the bags under my eyes! There is both joy and stress that is part of this exhaustion as a mother. There is absolutely no fault in you or in me if we admit right here and right now that we, as moms, need extra help and maybe even a regular break. It would really be asking very little. Why does it feel like we are asking the world though when we admit this though, when our world is demanding so much of us? Getting help and/or a break is so important for our overall health and yet I’m finding that so few of us do this for ourselves (myself included). I’m wondering why is it so hard for us to admit when we need help/a break (please leave a comment on your thoughts on this)?
I’m finding that I need a break more then ever right now because my husband is out of town. I made it through my first night without him here helping me. Although it ran fairly smoothly and there is a pride that comes with knowing I CAN do it alone, I have another thing to admit. It really isn’t fun, enjoyable, or easy to do it alone. Kudos to all you single parents out there and/or parents who don’t have a choice but to do it alone right now. I don’t know how you do it every single day. I really don’t think there is going to be enough coffee this morning to get me through the day today (…and it’s only Wednesday. My husband is gone until sometime on Friday). I may have to do coffee by day, wine by night perhaps?! However, I’m not really drinking alcohol at all right now (a personal choice as long as I’m breastfeeding). I also know this wouldn’t be a helpful option for myself anyways as I typically have reheated my morning coffee seven times before I actually finish it…I don’t know where I’d find the time to even sit down and enjoy a glass of wine too (Insert, hashtag, Mom Problems)?!
So, I will end with this tid-bit of advice. If you’ve reheated your coffee over 5 times and it’s not even 7:30 a.m. yet and you also look down and realize that you have on one black sock and one green sock and have wiped your children’s butts more times then you can count in one morning and haven’t even had time to brush your own teeth or wipe the spit up off your shoulder that your child put there over an hour ago-Mama, I think it’s time to ask for some help and take a well deserved break. This doesn’t make you a bad mom, it makes you a smart and wonderful mom. Love yourself. Practice self care & Never be afraid to admit when you need help or a break. Lets face it, you are the center of your families world, always and it’s not selfish to step away and let someone else take care of things while you re-fuel so you can be the best you can be.
For the record…my coffee is cold. I need to find matching socks. I need to restock the wipe container. I need to brush my teeth & I am calling my new perfume Chanel Chunky Spit up (haha)!