Sadly, I can’t remember the last time I read a book.  Since I’ve had K, life has just been extra busy.  I want to say 50% of my entire day is spent nursing & pumping alone. There is such little time for much of anything regarding “me time” lately.  I have good intentions but 9/10 times I am interrupted or side tracked in my own squirrel like brain!  I’m a big advocate on self care and making time for myself during the day, even if it’s only for 10 minutes to decompose. Any person deserves this in their day.  Moms especially deserve this, yet if you are like me “me time” is hard to come by.

Most days I find it hard to sacrifice even 10 minutes, let alone and hour or more for myself. My excuse tends to be that there just isn’t enough time in the day, my to-do list is never ending, someone is always needing me in some-way, shape or form and the moment I sit down, it never fails I hear someone say either, “Niiiichoooole”, “Mommmmmmmm”, “Whhaaaaaa, Whaaaa, Whaaa”, “Woof, woof, woof” and/or “Meow”! By the time I do have time to back to that moment to myself it is typically when both kiddos are in bed for the evening.  At that time, I literally am too exhausted to even keep my eyelids open to care about doing something I actually want to do. If that something I want to do is reading at that hour, it puts me to sleep. I end up just crawling into my bed and falling asleep because I’m so tired (me being tired is another story for another day)!

Camping!  That’s it! The last book that I read was this past summer… when we went camping. Goodness, that was a long time ago (Pre K of course). It just randomly game to me (see I have a squirrel brain).   I remember because I enjoy reading books that are also movies and when I got done reading Me before You, by Jojo Moyes I remember thinking to myself, I need to place a hold at the library on this movie.  I’m laughing to myself because I never found time to pick up the hold at the library to even watch the movie.  Foolishly, I just placed another hold on in now while it was on my mind– thinking I will again find the time to actually watch it (who am I kidding.  I more then likely will not).  I also read the sequel, Me After You.  Wait…did I really read the sequel or did my sister just tell me about the sequel?  Crap!  I can’t remember. Seriously, my memory has turned to complete mush!

…and I’m back to the reason I need to start reading again. My brain feels like mush.  I need to start feeding it again.  Spending the majority of my day with my kids is what I will blame my brain not working properly on.  You’d think I could handle reading one book a month at least.  Lord knows it will take me that long (if not longer) to read a book beginning to end these days!

Since E is on Spring break this week, I took the girls to the library yesterday and E was able to attend the morning story time.  This is something I used to do with E on a regular basis. Unfortunately, her 4K program now clashes with the story time hour for her age group (unless I want to take her at 6pm story time on a Tuesday nights and that just doesn’t work well for us either right now).  While we were there, E picked out the DVD Moana, one she has  been wanting to see for a while now and she also picked out six books to check out.  We are always excited about new library material at this house and E will actually ask to look at books instead of asking for the IPAD when we do (win-win)! I decided since it had been a while since I had gotten a book for myself, I would pick one out.  The one that caught my eye and I ended up checking out was “Scrappy Little Nobody” by Anna Kendrick.  

Diving into this book last night, knowing I have a due date as to when I need to finish it by, I was able to read 2 chapters while K was nursing.  I read a 3rd chapter this morning while eating my breakfast.  However, after reading the first 3 chapters I realized I was distracted in thought almost the entire time reading it this morning.  Not only that, last night, I feel like E and my husband were both talking to me while I was reading (a huge pet peeve of mine) and it took me ten times as long to read a chapter because I was re-reading sentences and at times, whole paragraphs.  E also started throwing a bit of a fit when we wouldn’t let her start her movie she got because it was almost her bedtime, so she came up to me after telling her “no” and completely hit the book right out of my hand and I lost my page (I don’t like to call children names but she was down right acting like a little brat).  We had a little talk about disrespect, the word no and then with tear filled eyes (but I love you’s still said) my husband so kindly took her to her room, read her stories and got her to sleep.  That little mishap took up a lot of time.

You’d think this would have been a prime time for me to continue reading once my husband so kindly took over the bedtime routine and since K was happily nurse-sleeping in my arms. Nope, instead, heavy eye lids ensued.  Both children were sleeping and this Mama’s knew she wasn’t going to be far behind them doing the same thing.  My bed was calling my name.  So that’s just what I did. I told you, the good intent is there for self care, but dang it’s hard to incorporate it in the way I need it. The three lovely chapters I kinda sorta read, I found I could relate to and had me laughing (I love Anna Kendrick and actually think we have some personality traits in common)…I think it’s going to be a good-light spirited read if I just get the quite moment to do so.  I just want to read a book. My goal is  to read 1 book this month.  Is that so much to ask or even strive to do?!  Good lord what is happening to me?!

“I think I need to become perfect all at once, so I keep getting overwhelmed and putting it off. I can’t remember the last time that I didn’t have something hanging over my head. There are usually about thirty to eighty things. Is that normal? Don’t tell me. If it’s not, I’m a jerk. If it is, that’s super-depressing, and I know I’ll just use ‘this is normal’ as an excuse to procrastinate even more.”
Anna Kendrick, Scrappy Little Nobody


3 thoughts on “Reading…

  1. I have been making time to read lately, but it took awhile of pumping myself up before I got back into it. And that first book back took a month to read – a solid month and it was under 300 pages! lol Wow. 😛 But now I am in the reading groove again and I look forward to it. I am only reading eBooks for the time being because it’s easier to hold my phone or tablet than turning the pages of a book while nursing. I read a little bit here and a little bit there, but most happens at night after my youngest two are in bed. And yes, I fall asleep a fair amount of the time because I’m in bed but that’s okay with me! Then I crash!! (at like 9:59) hehe

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It would be so much easier to read from my phone then hold a book–but I am old school and there is just something about an actual book that I love. I spend so much time on my phone already and when I read I just want to do that one thing. I don’t want the distraction of a phone call, a text or an email alert while I read so I omit my phone when I am reading my books!

    You do better then me making it to 10 PM. Both my kiddos are either asleep by 8/9 and I am never far behind them! Enjoy reading again…let me know if you read anything you like. I’m always looking for book suggestions!


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