During our struggle with Secondary Infertility, one of the many difficulties was staying positive. As much as I tried to keep my chin up, negativity found a way to creep in. Those of you who also struggle with infertility can relate that there are a lot of days involved where it is hard to keep your head above water sometimes. With every up, there was a down. With every path forward there seemed to be a detour. With every step forward, we would take two steps back. Looking back, I wish I had some sort of infertility mentor or someone who had went through the journey that could have given me tips to help me stay motivated to stay positive.
Today, I would like to offer up some tips on just that. Being that I have been through SI, I have experience with the ups and downs and know what it’s like when the negativity takes over. Sometimes all you need is another person to say “me too” to be your warrior along with you. By practicing these healthy habits it will certainly help that uncompromising way of thinking that generates negative thinking with outcomes or circumstances that are beyond your control anyways. Triggers will be everywhere. It is how you handle them and what you do with your way of thinking that can make a really horrible situation just a little bit easier on yourself. Lets face it, infertility is hard enough in and of itself, so it is time to dismiss the negative Nelly that lives inside of you. You can do this!
10 Habits to Motivate You to Stay Positive While Struggling With Infertility
Keep A Daily Journal and write something in it everyday. This is such a great way to document your struggle and have a safe place to write any thoughts, feelings, emotions, opinions, questions, etc., that you have. Along the way you may have things that move you: a quote, a song, an act of kindness, progress in your journey. These are all wonderful things to write about as well. Writing is an amazing outlet.
Reward Yourself, Often. Taking the focus off what is causing you displeasure is the best medicine. Whatever point you are at in this struggle you are allowed to take time to laugh, relax, have fun and enjoy. The toll this takes on you emotionally, mentally and physically seems to be all consuming at times. You need a break. You could go to a comedy club, get a massage, take a walk, read a book, the possibilities are endless.
Seek Out Inspiration. Sometimes the best motivation to stay positive can be found through a daily devotional, inpirational quote, a blog, a friend who has walked a mile in your shoes, going to church, etc. Whatever gives you the ambition to stay positive continue to do those things, especially on your really down days.
Get Excited Again. Everything about SI can feel mudane and like a chore. Try to remember your end goal and get excited about the possibility that awaits you. If things, like your sex life, seem to feel more routine and like work, rather then enjoyable or exciting… make things fun again!
Find your “Me Too” Warriors. When you find another person or a group of imdividuals going through similar circumstances it can truly be a breath of fresh air. On one side you are pained that anyone else is going through a similar hell but on the other side you are relieved you have found a relateable person/people who understand and can fully support you how you need to be supported in those moments.
Become Aware of Negative Self Talk and try to omit these thoughts with positive ones. Believe that you are not your struggle and let go of the fact that some things are out of your control. Replace a negative thought with a positive immediately.
Acknowledge what you feel and allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. You are on the rollercoaster ride of your life and you are going to feel emotions all across the board. Don’t ignore them or let someone else try to minimize how you feel or tell you that you should or shouldn’t feel a certain way. You are human and it is the healthiest thing to feel and try to process.
Add Variety to Your Every Day. Breaking out of your daily routine or trying something new can create new or different experiences that can help take your mind off from the negative aspects bogging you down.
Ask For Help and know you are not a lone. No one can read your mind. It can be hard asking for help, but there is no shame in leaning on others. Be specific in how others can support you and be there for you in your time of need.
Keep dating your significant other. This is the key to a happy, healthy and thriving relationship through this struggle. In the midst of your heartache, a date night is a wonderful reminder of the reason you love each other and want to build your family. This hwlps keep things in perspective.