Here’s how it goes in the morning as of lately:
My oldest daughter wakes up & picks out her clothes to wear to school. The next thing I know, I hear her whining & complaining about the fit of her clothing. Before going into her room to see what all the stink is about, I think about lecturing her about being grateful that she has clothes to wear at all and to stop complaining (at the young age of 5, most of her complaints about her clothing are simply because she is picky in that moment and she changes her mind in mere seconds). However, something told me to hold off on the lecture and to go see for myself what the deal was. Sure enough, when I go into her room to see if her complaints have merit or not, I can see for myself that her undershirt looks like a belly shirt, her leggings look like capri pants and her long sleeve shirt looks like she’s wearing a short sleeve shirt. I guess I can’t get after her for whining about this as her complains for sure have truth to them. They are clearly too short, to tight and overall, small.
“Mom, this is wayyyy to tight, I don’t like it,” she moans again. At this point I’m just standing there looking at her and I mean really looking at her and see that not only has she grown, but her whole appearance looks more mature & older somehow. The baby I once brought home from the hospital, barely recognizable. I get caught up in my own moment of disbelief. “Mama, did you hear me? Help me pick something else out, these don’t fit me.” She begs. I snap out of my thoughts and think to myself, How can that be? I often wonder the how to myself regularily? It feels like just yesterday we got her these clothes she’s complaining about. Denial is funny and it sets in as I quickly tell myself that they must have gotten shrunk in the wash. Yet, reality is hitting me smack in the face and all the evidence is clearly there that she’s grown and her clothes have stayed the same size.
I know very well that we last went school shopping for her when she entered kindergarten in September. This was nearly 6 months ago. If I’m honest with myself I know that my washer indeed did not shrink her clothing. I also know this feeling all to well that is festering inside me as I gulp the golf ball size lump that is brewing in my throat. I hold back the tears as I think to myself, here we go again.
For me, it never gets easier as a mom, to continually pack away to-small of clothing as my children outgrow it. This is especially true when the months in size grow to years. From size NB to now needing size 6X, I shed tears and grieve every single time I pack away these articles of clothing. As I start to slowly fold up each piece and put them away in a bin to go to storage in our basement, I can’t help but reminisce and remember where she wore that dress or that outfit and the memories that were made while she was in them. I’m wondering who else does the same? I surely can’t be the only mom who becomes a big ball of emotions. Of course my husband would tell me that they are just clothes. However, as moms, we know they are not-especially those certain pieces of clothing.
As you can probably guess by now, my 5 year old is going through yet again another growth spurt. When this happens, I am dumbfounded with how quickly it seems to take place and how in the blink of an eye how we need to quickly figure out what she is in need of for clothing, yet again. It can be overwhelming, not only because she outgrows things all at once and seems to be in need of EVERYTHING all at once but also because of the emotions that go along with this growth spurt. For me, when I pack away the pieces of clothing that no longer fit her, it is another piece of me having to let go. It is another part of me saying good-bye to the “little” that is left in her. It isn’t easy for me and it surely is bittersweet. Never tell a mom that your kids clothes are just clothes because they a piece of your child. It’s any wonder mama’s have such a hard time parting with their children’s clothing and seem to have a story or a memory to share with each piece.