Fit or Fab Friday

It’s been a week.  There has been plenty happening, especially in our world, that easily could have or did drag us down.  These happenings helped shape our attitudes, the way we think and/or our actions.  It was one little girl and one very big attitude that was negative and misbehaving in our household this morning that molded the atmosphere in our entire household.  Instantaneously, I could see where it displayed the domino effect and touched every aspect of our morning and reached each individual in our household differently.  This mama was taking deep breaths in the kitchen and at one point had to give myself a mommy timeout while my husband was angry, the little one with the attitude was whining, crying and being defiant, and the baby was then crying and clinging to the back of my leg.  Not a great way to start the day.  It is crazy how your mood can go from Fabulous simply because it is Friday to a shitstorm in a matter of minutes.  It is then crazy how this switch in mood can affect your entire day, but I’m here to tell you it doesn’t have to!

I talked earlier in the week about choosing joy.  Instead of letting this bad morning relect upon my entire day when I had a moment to myself, I got my coffee going and sat down to blog (my happy place) and took a few more deep breaths.  I know that it was a bad moment but it was just that…a moment & I have the rest of my day to make fabulous.  I know there is good in every day, even the bad ones.  I once again will choose joy.

If you have had one of those weeks or even today didn’t start off on the right foot you don’t have to continue to have a hellish day.  Here are 10 ways for you my friend, to have a fabulous Friday:

  1.  Get moving.  Take a brisk walk outside and take in all the beauty that Fall surrounds us with. Find time in your day for that work out you’ve been putting off.  Invite a friend to go to the gym.
  2. Watch an episode of Ellen.  I don’t know about you, but there is just something about that women that dispells joy.  When you watch her shows, happiness just follows and lingers in your heart.  You want to be a kind, compassion and generous person because she is all of those things and more.  Not to mention, when she dances, it makes you want to shake your tail feather too and there is just something about dancing when nobody is watching that puts you in a fantabulous mood!
  3. Do one random act of kindness.  Go get yourself some coffee because we all know a warm cup of Joe will make you happy and then pay for the person’s order behind you.
  4. Listen to a comedy centered podcast.  Laughing is often the best medicine when things are grim.  No matter how awful things feel sometimes all you need moments of laughter in your day to recharge your soul.
  5. Feed all 5 of your senses on a date night with your significant other.  Taste:  Go to your favorite resturaunt together and eat your favorite dish, drink your favorite drink and make sure you order dessert.  Sight:  Right now, Fall colors are happening.  One of my favorite things to do is to go look at all the changing colors and wild flowers.  It’s breathtakingly beautiful!  Touch:  Get intimate.  Hold hands, give one another a massage.  Kiss one another.  Cuddle.  Hug.  Make Love.  Smell:  Bake together, light a candle, have a campfire (this one gets my husband, there is just something about the smell of a campfire).  Sound:  play your favorite music while in the car together.  Go to a musical.  Go to a coffee shop where a local band is playing.
  6. Wear clothing that makes you feel good or that makes you feel comfortable.  When I am wearing something I don’t feel good in it also sets the tone for the day.  When I am wearing clothing that makes me feel good and comfortable I am in such a better mood and feel like I am ready to tackle anything that comes my way.
  7. Turn off the noise.  Put away cell phones, turn off Tv’s, put work away.  Simply be in silence.
  8. Play a board game.  Techologogy has taken over.  What happened to the simple kind of fun I had when I was a kid.  This includes family time and board games.  Seriously, whip one out tonight and play together as a family.  Spending quality time-realy quality time is so important to fueling joy.
  9. Declutter & Organize your space.  I don’t know about you, but I fuction and feel so much better in a space that is clutter free and organized.  The change of seasons is an awesome time to do this.  Make three seperate bins and label them “sell”, “donate” and “garbage”.  You’d be surprised with the amount of stuff you can purge off.  You may find that you can make some money off the items you no longer need but have a hard time just giving away and you may find that there is a lot you’d be happy to donate.  With a kindergartener in toe, we have obnoxious amounts of papers and art projects that we do not need to keep….garbage!!!
  10. Call or meet up with someone you’ve lost touch with.  We certainly all have great intentions to stay in touch with people we care deeply about.  However, life seems to get in the way of making time to connect.  I’m talking about really connecting with someone.  Oftentimes a phone call with an old friend or even a family member or meeting up with them in person can really make your day and theirs.

Have a fabulous Friday everyone and please choose joy!

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Wondering on Wednesdays…

I don’t want to worry.  I don’t want to be scared.  I don’t want to wonder if the unimaginable will ever happen to me or my husband or first and foremost to our kids and our family or friends or any person for that matter.  This world that we live in today,  it is so damn hard not to worry.  It is hard not to be scared.  There is a constant need to look over your shoulders and to not feel safe.  Wondering about the unimaginable rocking my world, like it did to many in Las Vegas this weekend, feels like it isn’t a matter of if it will happen, rather it feels like a matter of when it will happen.  To me, that is terrifying.

They said this was the largest mass shooting in history.  In history!  My biggest fear, like many of you have I am sure, is that this won’t be the last mass shooting in my lifetime. When the next occurs (because it will), it is going to be even deadlier.   How can you not be scared with that thought?  Especially when the next time, it could be you or me or one of your loved ones at the wrong place at the wrong time.  I just can’t even fathom this.  Changes need to be made so this won’t continue to happen time and time again.  Although, this seems easier said then done.  It will take all of the human race for positive change to occur.

The million dollar question is, what exactly needs to be changed for these senseless acts of violence to to stop happening? Seriously, what will it take?  How do we filter out these types of people that are the causes of these outrageous tragedys or what signs (even silent ones) do we need to be extremely cautious of or look for?  What has happened to humanity? Has hate taken over kindness?  Are people really that angry?  How do we better assist mentally ill people and get them the help they need before they take matters into their own hands?  What kinds of things push people over the edge to snap?  What can each and every single one of us do daily to make changes for the better in this world?  My heart is heavy this morning and I am wondering so many things.

As a mama bear, I want to protect my kids and my family.  It is such a harsh reality when you realize you won’t always be there to protect them from evil.  I want to teach my kids right from wrong and instill appropriate morals and values into them.  I want to teach them to not only be kind always, but to be the helpers.  The hardest aspect for me right now is that I am sending my 5 year old off to school.  When I was growing up we had to worry about fire drills and tornado drills and I can remember the occassional bomb threat drills we practiced.  However, added to the list of drills is how to protect our kids and our schools from a mass shooter.  That is just F’cked up (excuse my french).  The innocence of my 5 year old has been taken away.  There are so many questions she has and as a parent I am trying my best to answer them in a way that doesn’t completely shatter her soul.

Not only that, but it is terrifying going to events or places where there are large crowds.    I am extra hesitant about doing so lately.  You think you are going on a date night with your significant other, or to enjoy some country music with friends at a concert or simply going to work for the day and this kind of thing happens???  It used to seem unreal…but now it’s almost the first thing I am thinking about…the fact that it could very well happen in any moment, at any time and anywhere.  Safety is now a huge threat no matter where you go.  I’m starting to completely understand a few cliche phrases and pieces of advice that don’t seem very cliche to me anymore: Live every moment as it’s your last, Always say I love you to those you love, Never go to bed angry, Always hug a little tighter, etc.

I want to feel safe again.  I want to feel safe so I don’t have to worry & so I don’t have to be scared.  I want my kids futures to be bright.  There is hope for those things.  There is always hope.    Somewhere the light in this world has just gone dim and it is every single one of our jobs to make the light bright again.


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Aimless 20 Talk Tuesday…

  1.  Las Vegas.  My heart goes out to the senseless tradgedy that occurred there.  I can not imagine being in the center of that firsthand and I certainly hope that I never am.  Moreso, I hope that my children never are.  It seems that this nonesense gets closer and closer to home & what once felt like a safe place to live, no longer does.  It terrifies me to send my baby off to public school everyday and worrying about her safety.  It makes me angry that I have to think twice about going to over populated events that are supposed to bring joy.  It is sad that there is so much hate in this world and it has become corrupt.   Amongst all the negatives today, I am going to choose joy.  I just can’t stay in the place of heavy nonsensical bs.  I am not in denial of what is happening or trying to be insensitive to it all BUT I also am not going to let the monster who did this control how I am feeling today.  I am choosing.  Me.
  2. Tom Petty.  Sad time in the music world.  However, I am really confused about the conflicted articles out there.  Some reports say he has passed away and others just say he was taken off life support?  Can someone, anyone clarify what is true and what isn’t?
  3. As most of you know, October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month.  There are many ways you can spread awareness about this topic or be of support to a friend, relative, co-worker and/or aquaintence who has gone through a loss.  One way is to simply use #PregnancyAndInfantLossRemembranceDay on social media.  You could attend a candlelight vigil in your area or even light a candle in your own home and say a prayer for someone suffering or the infant in rememberance.  You could take the time to write a nice “thinking of you” card to a person grieving or someone who has known loss.  You could wear the pink and blue colors in support of this awareness.  You could simply invite a friend struggling out for coffee date this month. The list of ways to help bring awareness and be of support to someone in need is endless.  I truly hope you will help be a light!
  4. Both of my girls have colds.  My oldest has a cough and last night it turned into a nagging cough.  Both my husband and I were up with her in the night giving her TLC and snuggles.  Typically, this type of cough always ends up being bronchitis for her.  I’m really hoping not, but who am I kidding.  If history repeats itself, this is what she will end up with more then once this cold season.  My little has a gross runny nose, is sneezing and fluctuates from being very crabby to being sweet and an extreme snuggler.  I was sporting a lot of dried crusting boogs ont he back of my pant legs and on my shoulder.
  5. What are your kiddos going to be for Halloween this year.  My oldest is going to be the My Little Pony, Rainbow Dash (insisted on a store bought costume this year, blah) and my yougest is going to be a Gumball Machine (DIY Costume made by yours truely).  Pictures to come!
  6. I’ve been a stay at home mom now for almost 5.5 years.  I really need to at least keep my CPR & First Aid Certification up to date.  Mine is officially expired.
  7. We are paying $2.70/day 5 days a week for my daughter to eat school unch and get a milk at snack time.  She started out the school year by having me pack her lunches for her, but quickly changed tunes and now only wants to eat hot lunch.  However, this adds up to about $13.50/week and adds up to about $54/month.  I just feel like we can be more frugal if we pack her lunches.
  8. Well, I finally made hair appointments for my daughter and I.  Ironically, we are both seeing someone new to cut our hair.  I’m nervous for the both of us.  I don’t do well with change and I have had very poor experiences in the past with “new” people cutting our hair.  I have high hopes for the person cutting my hair because a friend of mine goes to her and her hair always looks great.  I have no idea who is cutting my daughter’s hair so I’m actually a bit more nervous for her!
  9. How often do you weed out your friends list on Facebook?  Do you have any stories about deleting an individual on your list and then that person realizes it and either tries to re-add you or questions you about it?  It’s about time I do some weeding and it always makes me on edge for those reasons.
  10.  We live about 4 hours away from my parents.  Visiting always requires planning and typically it is over the weekends.  Visits always seem to happen in the blink of an eye and not often enough. I would love to just hop in the car and pay them a visit  today and I wish I could do this as often as my heart desired.  I often miss my college days where I was only 45 minutes from them and then, I know I took the luxury of visiting for granted.
  11. The vocabulary of my 10 month old now consists of:  Ma-Ma, Da-Da, Eh-Ah (bis sis), Ha-E (our dog) , Key-Meow (our cat), and Ba-ba-ba-ba (my boobs).  At least she’s got all the important stuff down, haha.  She is also a master at waving hello/bye, giving high fives, blowing kisses and if you make a ringing sound and say hello she puts her hand to her ear and pretends it is a phone.  I love this stage and how she interacts with us now, so purely sweet and innocent and no sass yet!  We are eating it up for sure!
  12. I need spaghetti squash recipes.  I’ve never made spaghetti squash before and am clueless (although I’ve seen some recipes) on the best way to prepare it.
  13. It seems like the leaves are turning colors in WI really slow this year.
  14. Clueless as to what to get my daughter for her 1st birthday in November.  We certainly don’t need any toys (we saved everything from our 1st) and she seems to be good on clothing.  She’s getting jipped of a birthday party too. Poor girly.
  15. Soup season is finally upon us!  Soup is one of my favorite foods.  I’ve posted a few new soup recipes on Facebook that I’d love to try this Fall/Winter.  I especially love when they are crockpot friendly!  What is your favorite comfort food this time of year?
  16. I have yet to watch the This Is Us season premier.  What is wrong with me?  Oh yea, any free without children TV time I get I’ve been obsessed with watching Shameless.
  17. During Naptimes today, I plan on continuing my project of de-cluttering, purging and organizing.  So much stuff.  Simple is best.
  18. I’ve been really tired myself lately and could really benefit from a nap.  Interrupted sleep on a regular basis is doing a number on my energy level.  I really hope K can start sleeping through the night soon so this mama gets some sort of a break.  This will also help to eliminate 2-3 nursing sessions.
  19. My to-do list for today is 7 items long and 4 our of the 7 things involve cleaning.  Seriously, not my idea of a fun time.  If you have someone coming in to help clean your house, I hope you treat them like a queen.
  20. Shopkins.  Do not let these into your house, especially if you have an infant who likes to put things in his/her mouth.  Just when you think these little things are up and out of reach of your infant is when you find a shopkin in your little’s mouth.  Trust me I know.

Fit or Fab Friday

When you want to feel fabulous, one of the simplist soloutions is to nourish your body with healthy food and to drink enough water on a daily basis.  You make every day choices of what to put into your body that will make you feel energized and help you feel at your absolute best.  You may stumble across temptations along the way, like that piece of chocolate that is staring you down that you want to taste or maybe you are tired from a long day of work and you pass a fast food drive in and you make the choice to swing through for your dinner so you don’t have to cook when you get home.  However, later you feel sluggish and regret those decisions to not make healthier choices.  We’ve all done been there and there is no shame in it.  There is no denying though, and if you are honest with yourself, that you can feel the negative affects of poor choices and sometimes see the phyisical effects of what poor eating habits can do to yourself as a whole.

Thinking about how to nourish your body seems simple, yet it takes work and committment.  What also takes work in your life, is relationships.  Have you ever thought about what it takes to nourish important relationships in your life?  If you are lacking important relationships, maybe you wonder how to go out and form relationships that are long lasting?  Quality relationships are an important key to feeling fabulous also and sometimes are just the piece to our puzzle that is missing that is overlooked.

As of lately, I’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship with my husband and also my relationships with my friends.  It seems in every relationship I have quality is missing and I need to find ways to nourish these better.  I am a much happier and healthier person when relationships feel solid and I have a support system.  Not only that, a loving and great marriage and wonderful friendships fill the heart with so much joy.

We all know life happens and these relationships are often the first to be put on the back burner.  Starting with my husband, I have been trying to think of ways and things I can do to better nourish our relationship.  I am starting by reading, “The 5 Love Languages”, by Gary Chapman.  I am first reading this alone and then it is my  hope we can read it together in the near future.  There are everyday choices I am making in my marriage and my relationship that I am not proud of and I certainly know that nourishing this relationship gets put last, because nourishing my reltionships with my kids always comes first.  Seeing how things have been lately, I know that part of my emotional mood has been poor because I am seeking something that I am not getting in my relationship from my husband.  If I want it back I need to make the time and put forth the effort.  I am only into chapter 6 of this book and I am already feeling optimistic.  Nothing has changed, but I am being reminded of how I need to change and what I need to do differently in my relationship for it to thrive.  It gives me hope that things will get better.

If it is one thing I know about msyelf as well is that I am an introvert and making new friends is hard.  I’ve lived in my area for quite a while and although I have a lot of aquaintences, I do not have really one single friend I feel comfortable calling “just because” or to hang out or to vent to.  Thank goodness for my sisters who live close to me!  I’ve been feeling lonely and lonely for that girlfriend relationship or other mom friend I can relate too and hang out with.  Recently, I got out of my comfort zone and arranged a neighborhood playdate and I had 6 other women come forward and show interest.  We all met yesterday and will be meeting once a week from here on out.  I felt so good all day knowing that there are other women like me who want to get to know one another and come together to support each other.  I was on cloud 9 yesterday by simply meeting with these ladies and their cute kiddos for an hour.

To feel good, there are so many different areas in  our lives that we need to nourish.  We often forget that it is important to stop and first nourish those important relationships in our lives.  I don’t care who you are, we all need quality relationships in our lives.  They are important and help us to thrive.  It is amazing what taking actual out of my day to spend time with other human beings in a quality way can do for my mind and soul.  It’s so easy to choose your kids or choose to run that errand or tackle things on your to do list…if we just take a moment and set those things aside for a moment and take the time to nourish a relationship, it truly makes all the difference.

What relationship will you choose to nourish today?

Wondering on Wednesdays

Where do I fit in?

This is the question I am currently wondering about myself about my future fertility.

My husband and I are making the decision to not prevent a pregnancy from occuring.  This means that I am not on any sort of birth control and haven’t been on any since K has been born.  This also means that we do not use protection while having intercourse. Gosh, I honestly really hate that word (for a side note).  Some people cringe at the word moist but my cringe worthy word is intercourse.  Next time I will just say sex for petes’s sake!  In the moment, it just seemed less blunt saying the cringe worthy form, until I realized I scrunched my nose, made a disgusted face and shivered while typing it out.

Anyways, currently we are not seriously trying for a baby but we are not preventing it a pregnancy from happening.  I don’t have my period yet, as I’ve mentioned in past blogs, so I can’t really keep track of what the heck my body is doing right now either.  Currently, I don’t know if we will be able to have a baby on our own or if we will face secondary infertility again head on.  I’m guessing that we will be dealing with difficulty again. At least that is what I am prepping myself for, almost like I am telling myself not to expect anything but struggle again.

With that said, I’ve been seriously wondering where I fit in.  I mean, I didn’t really know anything about Secondary Infertility until we started seeking help and I joined support groups.  Most of the women in there already had one child, but struggled to have the second.  Rarely did I see women in these groups struggling with secondary infertility a second time.  Apparently, it is still called Secondary Infertility no matter how many times you go through it. Secondary infertility simply means you have had a previous pregnancy (even if you miscarry and don’t carry to term or you do carry to term and birth the baby) but are unable to get pregnant or have difficulty getting pregnant again on your own or trying for a year or more after a successful pregnancy, and being unsuccessful.

However, to me, there should be a seperate name the third, fourth, and fifth time around (etc.).   For example, the first time around it’s called Primary Infertility.  The second time around is called Secondary Infertility and the third time around it should be called Triplex Infertility or something just to distinguish it and seperate it a bit further.  Heck-no one would have wanted me in a primary infertility support groups, I would have gotten eaten alive in there.  I honestly don’t feel like I would belong in a simple secondary infertility support group anymore.  However, where are these triplex infertily groups (I just made this name up for those of you confused right now)?  I know I am going to need support big time this next time around.  The support I will need will be different then I did this last time because I consider myself a bit seasoned now and less niave about the whole topic and the procedures.

Someone, anyone?  Where do people like me fit in?  There has got to be something out there.  I am feeling kind of alone in this right now.

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