As moms, we often feel like a broken record and are on constant repeat with our little loves who either choose not to listen or simply have selective hearing when it comes to following rules and directions. This has been a huge frustration in our household lately, especially with our 6 year old. I’m here to tell you that you are not alone mombies! This stage can feel so defeating, annoying and like you are two seconds away from throwing in the towel on this whole parenting gig. Mombies, I feel you!
With that said, I like to try to find the humor in my frustrations as much as motherly possible. I mean we have to right?! Otherwise, I will lose my $hit completely.
On this Monday, I present to you 10 of the most humerous things this Mombie has caught herself saying to my child(ren) this weekend (honestly, I could likely do 1000 but I will spare you for now). These things are just down right funny after I say them, when I truly stop and think about the things I literally have to tell my little monsters. Sometimes all we need is a little humor among the frustration to keep us going from day to day. If you need a pick me up or laugh, reading these will be a sure way to get your belly laughs in for the day…I promise!
- Do not even think about putting that tootsie roll up your nose!
- Please put your trolls and their shoes and their other accessories in my purse before I count to 6…I mean it, if you don’t put those trolls away in my purse right now I will put them in my purse myself and if it comes to that I will keep them there until the end of the week.
- Boogers belong inside your nose or inside of a kleenex, not your finger to look at and inspect.
- We don’t touch our front butts when there is poop. How big is K? So Big!!!!
- Your underware are worn on your bottom, not around your neck. Ok, really…take them off before you stretch out the leg holes. TAKE. THEM. OFF. NOW. Great, now the leg holes are shot. Do you know how expensive kid underware is? Next time you do this you will buy them with your own money.
- Yes, those are your B’s. Yes Mommy has B’s too. Where’s your nose?
- No you may not have a drink of my mommy juice because it’s just for mommies. If you drink it you will turn into a mommy and lose all your marbles. It is much more fun to drink kid juice and have fun playing. Now go play in the sandbox.
- All forks do the same job. Now eat.
- What does 2+2 equal? (My daughter answers 4) Ok, you are smart enough to understand math, now why don’t you understand english and the words coming out of my mouth?
- You need to get your loofa and scrub your butt because it gets dirty just like your hands you just can’t see it as well. Now scrub!
What funny things have you caught yourself saying to your kiddos this weekend? Serioulsy, document the things that come out of your mouth sometime…then go back and read them. It will surely make you laugh even if in the moment you are heated!
I hope your Monday is filled with laughter and giggles at some point in your day…it makes a bad moment or a bad day better!