Aimless 10 Talk Tuesday

1. There are now less then 30 days left of the school year and only 6 more pay days before a 3 month break. Surreal. Where did the school year go?
2. Kynnslee has softball practice tonight after our dinner hour.
3. Opening Day ball weekend is this Saturday! We are excited for another Season. I hope the girls have fun!
4. E has mentioned she wants to try running with me. We chatted about doing this last year, but we never did. I’d like to make it happen so we may try to start by a run/walk tonight when K and Z are at softball.
5. I was able to squeeze a run/short workout in last night after dinner. It was more for my mental health then anything. I needed to sweat out the bullshit.
6. Feeling like I’m struggling a bit mentally/emotionally again. Taking lots of deep breaths this morning trying to get through the anxiety feelings.
7. I’m tired of the wedge. I wish something could change.
8. We have such speeders down our neighborhood road. Maybe this is a sign that I’m getting older, but I want to but a “Slow The F*$K Down” sight at the end of our driveway! Someone is seriously going to get hit–or someone’s pet.
9. The sun is trying to peek out of the grey skies. Let’s hope it doesn’t rain. Being inside the classrooms for recess is boring and just the worst.
10. Have a terrific Tuesday. Gotta cut this short because time slipped away from me.

Mombie Monday

Yesterday was the last day of NIAW. I just wanted to take the time to thank those of you who allowed me the space to share and also spread a little awareness about infertility this past week. I mostly shared on Facebook and this year, I took a break from posting daily here.

I appreciate those of you who spread kindness to me and/or others you know who are struggling. I’m thankful to those of you who gave me a listening ear without judgment, reached out by text, messaging and gave me their support in person with a quick visit, coffee date, conversation and hugs.

Please know that if you are someone struggling with infertility, you are not alone. Please feel free to reach out anytime if you need support. I’m always happy to be there as a source of support.

Be gentle on yourself, give yourself grace, and allow yourself to feel whatever it is that you are feeling–everything you feel and think is valid. Infertility is not your fault and I know the hard struggle it can be to navigate.

Wondering On Wednesday

Today, I am wearing ORANGE to help spread awareness for National Infertility Awareness Week.

Aimless 10 Talk Tuesday

1. It is National Infertility Awareness Week. I typically post daily in my blog during this time, but I am spread thin and posting on other socials. It’s so time consuming to do all my socials. There is always that good intention, but sometimes we have to pick our priorities. On that note, in honor of someone you may know struggling with their fertility, I humbly ask you to do a random act of kindness in honor of them today. It’s the little things that can brighten someone’s day in the midst of a storm. Many who struggle with infertility are struggling silently, feel misunderstood and don’t feel like they have a network of support they can turn to, and are filled with anxiety, depression and feelings of loneliness.
2. I got the girl’s softball schedules last night. It looks like our Wednesday’s and Thursday evenings May-June will be spent at the ball park! We are excited for a new year of making memories at the ball diamonds! Kynnslee actually had her first practice last night. She came home in a good mood and excited. I’m hoping it’s a positive year for both girls.
3. My work day will be an hour longer today because we have a meeting after our shift. Hopefully it goes quick!
4. Ants! Gahhh…I’m already starting to notice those little buggers crawling around in my office and in our living room. Tell me all the tips and tricks to get rid of them. They are so annoying.
5. I wish I was good at doing my hair in styles that I could get my hair out of my face. Since cutting off 7 inches last year I can no longer do my go-to style when I need my hair out of my face, which was a side braid. It’s just too short right now. I am “working” at growing my hair out long again, but obviously I am not in control of how fast that happens. I am still trying to get regular trims 1/2 inch to an inch every few months to keep it healthy too so that isn’t helping the cause. I miss my long hair!!!
6. I think I have for sure decided to have a rummage sale in May. My neighbor friend is encouraging me to do one the same weekend she is doing one and her encouragement to just do what I can, is motivating me to just have one. I know I won’t be able to go through everything in my house but I have a good amount of stuff that I have been setting aside or already listing on VarageSale that I know I can put out. Wish me luck, it’s so much work to have a rummage sale.
7. I finished reading my last book and just started reading, “My Lovely Wife” by Samantha Downing. This is a new author for me and so far the first 3 Chapters have me wanted to read more.
8. We have just over 30 days left of the school year. I can’t believe how fast this year flew by. There were those days that felt long, don’t get me wrong but I can hardly believe we are creeping up on May already.
9. We’ve been having some really windy, cooler Spring weather lately and I am truly just ready for consistently warmer and less windy days. It’s sunny right now but it is supposed to rain this evening and then get cooler tomorrow. When I look out my window though, I smile seeing green grass in our yard versus the dirt and mud that I saw last year. The silver lining to the rain is that it is making everything come alive again outside and that alone feels refreshing.
10. I’ve fell off my workout routine train the last 4 days. I need to hop back on and I’m hoping I can bring myself to do it later today. I feel like since I’m an early riser, when summer hits I need to switch my workout days to the mornings, instead of the evenings since things just get too busy. It’s going to just get harder in May/early June when school is still in session and the girls have softballs 2 nights a week-totally messes up my workout evenings. Time to revamp things and not let excuses get in the way!

Free Friday

I know that I normally reserve my random thoughts for Tuesdays, but today is also kind of my “free topic” blogging day so I’m formatting today’s post much like Tuesdays. I don’t know why I need to disclose this–but I am. I tend to be a person who always feel the need to explain myself. I’m working on that. Sorry! No, I’m not sorry because I’m also working at that phrase that I say all the time too. Anyways…

1. I will be 40 on May 6th. Earlier in the week I ordered a headboard for our bed. Fun (or sad) fact about me. In all my life, I’ve never had a headboard on my bed. Never. I felt like a kid on Christmas when I saw that big box sitting at my door. It may not be an expensive headboard or super fancy but guys my husband and I are officially grown ups–we have a headboard on our bed and our master bedroom is looking more like an adult bedroom little by little. I think it looks so cute and I absolutely love it. My husband asked if I was ok or if I was going through a mid-life crisis last night because I was so excited over this addition to our bedroom. Maybe I am or maybe I’m just to the point in my life where new furniture is exciting.
2. I have now listened to exactly 2 songs of Taylor Swift’s new album. I listened to “Black Dog” and only because we have a black dog and I also listened to Fortnite because it is her newest song that is highest on the charts right now so I had to see what all the hype was about. I’m sure by tonight at 10pm I will have listened to every new song on her album because I have a pre-teen obsessed with Taylor Swift and call me crazy but I am taking my daughters and 3 of their friends to the Taylor Swift Skate night Party tonight. Lord help me.
3. Also being that I am almost 40, I constantly have heard of people who travel that experience Jet Lag. I do not travel and I’ve never experienced Jet Lag. They were talking about it on a podcast today like everyone has been privileged to travel and experience or should know that that feeling is like-especially at my age. Nope-little do they know that I was raised in a bubble of a small town and grew up in a fear of leaving and venturing out or taking risks. Some things never change. However, I decided I need to experience Jet Lag before I die. #dreambig.
4. Today we are back to winter coats, hats and mittens. The sun is out, but it is not warm. The wind is fierce and it is chilly AF. I am dreading the playground duties today. TGIF at least!
5. My Saturday goals tomorrow are to have coffee, workout and go to hobby lobby–if this also doesn’t give away my age now I don’t know what will. What has my life become?! At least I can laugh at myself.

Happy Friday!

Thankful Thursday

1. This week my doorbell rang. It was my friend dropping off Starbucks “just because”. Totally unexpected, super thoughtful and kind, and to be honest it was nice to be thought of. I just felt special and loved. To my friend, thank you for befriending me and thinking of me even in the midst of your busy and hectic life. I appreciate your kind gesture and making me feel loved.
2. I’ve been ho-humming about having a rummage sale. I just have so much stuff and I know I have stuff that I won’t even have time to go through. However, the stuff already set aside would be enough to throw together a sale. I am thankful for my neighbor-friend who messaged me early this week and said she wanted to have a sale but was in the same boat I was with having so much stuff and a lack of time. Yesterday she texted me again and said “I’m doing it” “You’re doing it” and said “We can do hard things”. Haha! So thank you to my friend who is motivating me to get my crap together-literally!
3. Yesterday, Etta went to Milwaukee to the Brewers game on a field trip for school. She was nervous. I was filled with worry and anxious thoughts about her going so far and to a big stadium. However, she sent me pictures and texts throughout the day ensuring she was ok, having fun and most importantly–safe. I’m thankful for all involved who made yesterday’s field trip a success. I am grateful for her bus drivers, teachers and chaperones who also helped keep Etta and her friends safe and allow them to still enjoy the fun experience.

Aimless 20 Talk Tuesday

1. Our washer officially bit the dust. Thankfully, Menards had a similar one in stock. Bonus it was on sale AND the 11% back is still happening. Silver lining I guess.
2. Etta has her Brewers field trip tomorrow. This is the rescheduled date from when it got canceled last time, due to Snow Storm Cora.
3. Kynnslee and Etta were both assigned their softball teams. I’m kind of sad for both girls because neither of them got on teams with any friends or classmates. I know it’s a great way to make/meet new friends but I know the softball season is always more enjoyable for them when they have a friend or two they can make memories with. Part of me wants to call and request a switch BUT the other part is telling me that this is an opportunity to be put in a situation for growth.
4. Kynnslee has a dentist appointment at 4pm tonight. Ugh. Always one of my least favorite places to go–even when I am not the patient.
5. We are watching Pieces of Her on Netflix and I did not realize it is also a book. I hate watching things before reading them BUT I’m breaking my rule on this one because we are too deep in to turn back. It’s nice to have a series to watch with my hubby again. We haven’t really watched anything together in a while.
6. Zach did a beautiful job this weekend on making our floating shelves for our living room. I intended to help with said project but really didn’t do much of anything. Now, I need to figure out how to decorate them. I am not great at decorating so I’ll have to make time to use Pinterest for inspiration.
7. I’m reading, “Heart of the Matter” by Emily Giffin right now. I haven’t read an Emily Giffin book in a long while and saw this one at a thrift store for $2 so I picked it up (even though it goes against my rule of not buying books this year–figured it was used and not over $10 (only $2) so it doesn’t count). Anyways, I am liking it, but you can tell it’s an older book because the doctor in it is using a Blackberry! Haha! Kinda makes me laugh at how much things have changed!
8. Friday the girls are going to the local roller rink to skate and it’s going to be all Taylor Swift themed because of her new album coming out. Etta has been counting down the days for this night–this mom, not so much. I get to take 3 girls that are not mine, plus my two and meet 2 other girls at the rink–from 7pm-10pm and listen to mostly pre-teens scream Taylor Swift songs. Hopefully I can read by book. Haha!
9. Yesterday’s work day felt like it went at a snails pace. If it could fly by I’d really enjoy that, haha!
10. I think we are supposed to get rain later this afternoon-evening and then the cooler weather is supposed to come back. I am truly ready for consistently warmer days. It just makes everything better.
11. Three lovely teachers are expecting babies at my school. Today is their baby shower. I am skipping it because I have to take K to her dentist appointment but honestly would have skipped it anyway. I still really don’t enjoy sitting through a baby shower as it still feels hard. I know one day I will be able to sit through one and not feel what I feel, but I am not there yet and that is okay. I still got the ladies gift cards and wrote them a nice card and stuck them in their mailboxes at work to celebrate their joy.
12. I slept right up until my alarm went off this morning. I haven’t done that in a long while. I was tired. I am tired.
13. My to do list is starting to pile up again. I need to start tackling all the things. I was just telling my hubby last night that the evenings certainly fly by and it feels like we never have enough time for family time.
14. I’m looking forward to my two personal days I took off in May around my birthday. I still don’t know what I want to do but it will be nice to not have to go to work on my birthday!
15. I need to make an appointment for my Traverse since there is a recall on the exhaust AND my hubby needs to change my oil. I’m grateful he can do that for me so I don’t have to make an appointment every single time to do that.
16. I’ve really been thinking a lot about how old Haddie is and it isn’t lost on me that she has less days with us now then she did. I truly can’t imagine life without her. I remember these same thoughts when they told me Osama was now in the elderly status of her life and I started to feel really anxious and panicked. As Haddie jumped between us in bed and my hubby goes, “C’mon Haddie, jump between me and your mom because that’s where you always lay” I wanted to cry because it’s true–that’s where she always lays. One day soon she won’t be laying between us. I won’t be able to reach out and hold her pawn in my hands, or rub her soft ears, or feel her cold went nose, or hear her snoring as she spoons me at night. I truly don’t want to think about one day…but it’s coming and I dread it with my entire being. Haddie, when I think about it, has been truly the center of our family and so many times when I’m lonely it is Haddie that pulls me out of it. She’s a good dog and my best friend…just like Osama was. No one replaces that bond you have with those special fur pals, not even new fur pals. GAHHHH–I need to stop because it just makes me so sad, but these thoughts have been weighing on me hard.
17. I need to sit down an truly think about Summer and start making a plan and a bucket list.
18. Italian Beef Sandwiches going in the crock pot right now. I forgot to throw the stuff in the pot yesterday and came home and said some curse words when I saw the things sitting on the counter and not in the pot. We’ve all been there…but not today Satan! Today this mombie wasn’t distracted and remembered to throw the shit in the pot!
19. Zach and I have been noticing Etta’s teeth are yellowing. I read there can be lots of reasons for this. I need to ask the dentist tonight if there is anything safe we can use to help brighten them back up.
20. Have a great Tuesday everyone! Be kind. Be safe. Be a friend.

Mombie Monday

Here is your PSA for today.

If you spend anytime outside this weekend be sure to do tick checks on yourself and your dogs.

Also, if you have pets and are not already starting to do flea and tick treatments, it’s a good time to start doing them again.

Even if you haven’t had any ticks on you, they are out. I’ve been seeing lots of posts on social media of people saying they’ve been finding ticks on themselves, their children and their pets.

I hope you have a great Monday Mombies!

Free Friday

Whew! We made it to Friday. It’s been one of those weeks where I’ve been a day ahead of myself, making the work day feel long and the evenings feel short. Zach and I have work and the girls have school per normal today. I have a meeting after work and then will be home in time for K to get off the bus. Zach will be leaving work a tad early to go pick up E at school so she doesn’t have to ride the bus. She typically gets home around 4pm if she rides the bus (school is out at 3pm). Tonight she has a school dance at a different middle school at 4:30pm and we wanted to make sure she had enough time after school to breathe for 2.2, grab a snack, and maybe freshen up a bit. Then my hubby will be picking up E’s friend and taking both girls to the dance.

In the meantime, I will be trying to get myself ready for date night with my hubby as we are celebrating our anniversary tonight with dinner and some kid free time. Zach’s parents will be coming to our house by 6pm-ish so we can make it to our reservations by 6:30pm and will wait here until E gets dropped off at 6pm from the dance by her friend’s mom. Then my husbands parents will be driving back to to their house with the girls and the girls will have a slumber party at Grandma and Grandpa’s house tonight.

Did you get that all? Uffda. Makes my head spin thinking about it all. Haha!

It’s been a sad and heavy week in our community and a lot of things have been weighing on my heart and mind. Monday a 13 year old girl took her own life and Wednesday a Sophomore boy took his life–both of these incidents likely due to being bullied. The girl is only 1.5 years older then my own daughter and I can’t wrap my head around any of it. Both circumstances are tragic. There is so much I want to say and express surrounding suicide, mental health, parenting, social media, pressures kids have on themselves and place on others, kindness, bullying, etc…etc…etc. Working in the elementary school, I see so many things and am in tune to kids being unkind, being bullies, not including peers, etc…there isn’t 1 day that I don’t see it. We all need to do better. Mental health continues to be something we need to make more of a priority. Open communication, check ins, and talking to our kids not only about being kind but making sure they feel like others are being kind to them and how they are feeling on the inside. Gosh–so many thoughts I have, but for now…I’m going to sit with what I’m feeling and feel it and do some reflection on how I can even do better as a mom, friend, wife, supervisor, mentor, etc. There are so many people hurting in this equation and it’s mind-blowing how when something like this happens it affects us all-like a ripple effect. If you can do one thing today, check in with people–even a stranger sitting next to you. Kindness, love, care, making people feel seen, heard and valued–we can all do better.

I hope you all have an amazing Friday!

Thankful Thursday

1. It has been a long week. I am thankful that my husband and I have a long over due date night to look forward to. I always miss the girls when I am not with them BUT quality time with your spouse is important too.
2. I am thankful that I have been so open about my struggles with infertility. It has always been my hope that by doing so, others would feel less alone or perhaps even reach out to me and share their own struggles and go to me as a resources if needed. It’s been a while, but I had someone reach out about their struggles again today and it always warms my heart that I can be there for them. I’m not 100% over my grief in it all (always a work in progress) however, I am not in the thick of it anymore so although sometimes triggering, it becomes less and less.
3. I am thankful for 14 years of marriage with my best friend. It may not always be sunshine and rainbows, but I am the luckiest.

What are you thankful for on this Thursday?